I’m a pretty even-tempered chick. On a scale of 1 to 10 – Ice Princess being 1 and Drama Queen being 10, I’d say I’m around a 3 or 4. Over the years, I’ve learned how to keep my emotions in check…
…but that doesn’t mean I don’t have an occasional drama queen moment. Au contraire.
Last week, after a series of pesky annoyances, inconveniences and disappointments – one event finally pushed me over the edge. I found myself in front of the fridge stuffing down leftover grilled bison dogs with tears streaming down my face.
Yes, bison hot dogs. Clearly I don’t keep chips, cookies or ice cream around.
While devouring bison dog #2, I suddenly took a step back and thought – what the heck are you doing Robyn?
It’s been a long time since I found myself in the eye of an emotional eating hurricane. After backing away from the fridge, I walked straight to my office and got to work on properly dealing with the frustration and anger I was experiencing. I knew exactly what I needed to do.
Whenever my mind goes a little bonkers, I use the following method to pull myself out of Crazy Town and head back to Rational Land. Because scarfing down 250 or 500 or 2000 calories certainly isn’t going to fix the problem. Food can only fix one problem – HUNGER.
6 Steps For Turning Around Negative Emotions
1. Identify the dominant negative emotion you’re feeling (e.g. anger, frustration, overwhelm, shame).
2. Find a piece of paper and write the following words at the top – I am (insert negative emotion) because…
3. List every single thing you can think of that may have contributed to this emotion. Be careful not to filter or over-think, just write.
Example:
I am frustrated because…
I never get my way.
I always have to compromise.
Keep going and don’t stop until you’ve got it all out.
Note: In the heat of the moment, your thoughts will seem perfectly rational. Upon reflection you’ll realize your brain was temporarily taken over by aliens – and that’s okay.
4. Look at your list. Read each thought and ask yourself the following question – is this really true?
Example:
I’m frustrated because I never get my way.
Is this really true? Not a chance.
You’ll find that most of what you’ve written is what I like to call mind sludge – thoughts that aren’t really true and keep us stuck in our misery.
5. Determine if it’s possible to change the circumstance causing the negative feeling (I couldn’t). If not, decide how you want to feel about the situation. Clearly, the new emotion should feel better than the current one. Since frustration was cutting it, I decided on acceptance. Much better.
6. Find a thought that will give you this new, more positive feeling. My new thought was – it was meant to happen this way.
Negative emotions serve a powerful purpose. They can open our eyes to thinking and behaviors that are not supporting our greater good. Dig into those negative emotions and you’ll find a valuable lesson every time.
Once I arrived safely back in Rational Land, the lessons became clear…
- I can’t control everything – and that’s okay
- I can’t always have it my way – and that’s okay
- I was one who needed to practice compromising
We can live our lives wallowing in mind sludge and negativity or we can make the most of what life hands us. We can yell and pout and cry and stuff our faces – or we can look for the lessons.
The choice is ours.
Robyn Spurr is a Certified Health Coach, Weight Loss Coach, Personal Trainer and founder of Chickadee Weight Loss. She helps women reach their healthy, natural weight and stay there without all the diet craziness.
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