Imagine your most recent episode of overeating. What words might you choose to describe your actions? Here are a few common responses I hear.
- Bad
- Disgusting
- Out of Control
- Weak
- Powerless
- Broken
- Hopeless
I’m going to ask you to reconsider and try on the following words instead.
- Connection
- Powerful
- Survival
We ordinarily think of compulsive eating as a “bad” thing – something we ought to be ashamed of.
In reality, our compulsions around eating serve two very powerful purposes: to numb out undesirable feelings and to bring us comfort. As children, we’re not always capable of handling the intensity of the feelings we’re presented with. Feelings like fear, abandon, grief, panic or inadequacy.
We learn early on that eating all the cookies can temporarily distract us from these feelings. We discover a way to cope – and then we practice this method of coping over and over.
Instead of beating yourself up over your compulsion, recognize that your eating is likely a survival system you created to help manage all the overwhelming experiences of your life. Your compulsion around food is not evidence that you are weak. It’s evidence that you found a way to endure when your options were limited.
Using food to manage our emotions – to numb and comfort was once necessary. But as adults, we must learn new ways to take care our ourselves. The repercussions of using food are too high.
We can choose to manage our emotional lives without turning to food. We can stop “shutting ourselves up” with food. We can begin to experience, reconnect and give ourselves the attention we deserve. We can learn from our emotions instead of covering them up with ice cream.
By tuning in instead of numbing out, you will finally learn to be fully awake in your body and compassionate with yourself. And you’ll begin to replace your old method of taking care of yourself with a new system – one that will lead to a healthy body inside and out.
Robyn Spurr is a Certified Health Coach, Weight Loss Coach, Personal Trainer and founder of Chickadee Weight Loss. She helps women reach their healthy, natural weight and stay there without all the diet craziness.
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