I sometimes struggle with reconciling my advocacy of body acceptance with the fact that I help women lose weight.
Can you respect your body and want to change it?
My answer is a resounding yes. More than ever.
If I didn’t believe this to be true, there is no way I could do this work with integrity.
Unwinding beauty sickness and appreciating what our bodies do FOR us is an essential component of well-being.
In her book, Beauty Sickness, Renee Englen, a professor at Northwestern University and head of the Body and Media Lab, very clearly and in a very compelling manner exposes the cultural epidemic of beauty sickness, the obsession with appearance, and how it affects or has affected most women in America.
Using scientific studies and interviews with women, young and old and from all different walks of life, she shows the disturbing scope of this problem. The stories of these women are heartbreaking and oh-so-familiar and I could see myself (particularly my younger self) in so many of them.
But Renee doesn’t just leave you with the realization of all the damage beauty sickness has wrought, she very gracefully lays out some extremely helpful and practical solutions to the problem.
1. Function over form. When we really stop to analyze how much we focus on appearance, it’s pretty astounding. Instead of focusing on what we (or others) look like, zero in on what our amazing bodies CAN DO (e.g. hug our loved ones, see a beautiful vista, sing a song, hike a trail, smell lilacs).
The way to take better care of your body is not by shaming it, it’s by being kind and practicing gratitude for all the things it does for you.
2. Love not hate. Please don’t listen to those who claim you have to hate how your body looks in order to motivate healthy behaviors. These claims ARE NOT supported by any type of scientific data.
3. Ask different questions. How do you want the world to be different when you leave it? What kind of person do you want to be? What do you want to be remembered for? Probably not great abs. Let the answers to these questions have a greater influence on how you spend your time + money + energy.
4. Media. Don’t consume media messages about the ideal body. Whether its TV shows, your Instagram feed, magazine covers, books – if it pushes the unobtainable, photoshopped ideal, don’t look at it and don’t think about it.
I recently revamped my Instagram feed to include ONLY people + businesses that promote acceptance and inclusivity. Posts that lift me up and inspire. Life changing.
Instead of fighting the poison after it’s already entered your system, change what you’re consuming.
5. Body Talk. Try not to talk negatively about your body, especially in front of children. Whenever we complain about our body we’re encouraging those around us to do the same.
“When we degrade our own bodies, we send the message to others that it’s acceptable for them to do so as well.”
6. Praise Character. When praising others, try not to focus on appearance.
This one is HARD.
We’re conditioned to praise appearance. What’s FASCINATING is the research shows that even a “positive” comment makes the recipient become more body conscious.
“That shirt looks so good on you,” reminds the wearer that her appearance is being critiqued.
Instead of praising appearance, praise character, what they’ve accomplished, who they are at the heart.
“Anything that draws a woman’s attention to the appearance of her own body or makes her feel as though her body is being evaluated can result in body shame.”
I will say, I found this book difficult to read on occasion. It challenges. It triggers. It asks you to reexamine deep-rooted beliefs and behaviors.
But – if you’re ready, it can also be a powerful catalyst for healing.
XO ~Robyn
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