My dear friend Cindy told me about a workshop she was planning to attend this past weekend and asked me to consider joining her. According the description online, we’d be, “clarifying and deepening our relationship with nature, learning about the soul of the indigenous being, exploring ancient Lakota Indian traditions and enhancing our sacred relationship of inner peace.”
I must admit, it sounded a little “out there” to me – but since I’m an inherently curious gal who loves learning new things and playing in nature, I signed myself up.
And then I nearly bailed, because I was completely exhausted by the end of the week.
I hemmed and hawed over attending, but something within me told me to go – and I’m glad I listened, because the experience provided a perfect opportunity to contemplate how and why I let myself get so busy and exhausted.
Busy creeps up on you, like a mountain lion – and when you least except it, it pounces! Busy is the result of saying yes over and over, when you really want to say no. Busy leads to stress – and for me, too much stress leads to grouchiness and a desire to eat chocolate – lots of chocolate.
During class on Saturday, we were asked to gather our journals and a pen and locate a place in the woods where we would sit for one hour in quiet contemplation – and although this may seem downright kooky to you, I cannot begin to tell you how powerful this experience was.
While sitting there on the pine needles with my back against a beautiful lichen covered rock, I came up with a new “rule” – the hell yeah! rule – and it goes like this.
If I’m asked to do something and I don’t feel all hell yeah! about it, I’m going to give myself the gift of time to consider the request before I say yes. And if it’s still not a hell yeah!, then I’ll likely say no.
Just yesterday, I found this amazing post by Alexandra Franzen on saying no with grace. Brilliant. And this one has been bookmarked on my computer for ages.
In retrospect there were signs that I was taking on too much. When someone would ask how I was doing recently, my response transformed from my usual, fantastic and you? to whoa, super busy, I’ve got so much going on right now.
I’ve seen this over and over – and it’s not just business owners. Busyness is rampant everywhere – from teens to moms to retirees. So many of us pride ourselves on it – frantically tapping away on our iPhones, running, juggling, striving, zigging, zagging, going, going, going. We wear busy like a badge of honor. A badge that proves our superwomen status.
I used to admire these busy women. When I first started my business, I aspired to be like them – the business owner who had to scour her calendar to find the space to squeeze in one more thing that week.
When I descended from the forest and returned back home, I took the time to revisit the reasons I left the corporate world to launch my own business. Yes, I wanted to do work that truly inspired me, but I also wanted to be less busy – to free up significant chunks of time for playing, reading, hiking, exploring, creating, traveling and goofing off.
I craved more freedom, more space on my calendar – the space to do work I love and live a life that I love. The free space is what allows me to do my job well. To be fully present for my clients.
There’s a bit more space on my calendar this week – and I have no desire to fill it, unless it’s an appointment or opportunity that makes me shout hell yeah!
Sweet freedom.