See if this resonates with you…
Go on a diet – feel a crappy feeling – overeat to numb/distract/escape feeling – beat self up for overeating and for feeling “bad” – feel worse – give up on diet (screw it!) – eat mindlessly – gain weight – beat self up for gaining weight – go on another restrictive/punishing diet…
You guys, I see this ALL THE TIME.
The more we beat ourselves up, the more we want to check out and give up so we can escape the beatings + self-criticism. Then, one day we start right back up where we left off – with another restrictive + self-punishing diet.
The way to reach your goals is through self-compassion and forgiveness (not, I repeat NOT self-criticism).
Try these instead…
- Listen to your body
- Eat when you’re hungry + stop when you’re satisfied
- Stop telling yourself you’re supposed to feel happy all the time
- Honor ALL of your emotions
- Celebrate the small wins
- When you mess up, forgive and move on.
If there is one I’ve learned via my own weight loss journey and by coaching other women, it’s that beating ourselves up never leads to a positive result. Healthy is a place you get to with love.
Here’s an excerpt from a recent Scientific American article (Why Diets Don’t Work and What Does).
“In a 2014 study, women with eating disorders, including some who binged or who were overweight, received compassion-focused therapy—an approach aimed at reducing feelings of shame and improving self-esteem. Over the 12-week treatment, women who exhibited greater improvements in self-compassion and reductions in body shame were also more likely to develop better eating habits.”
Now you might be wondering, where do I start? How do I begin to practice self-compassion?
One of the simplest ways is to start tracking daily evidence for success. Write down one thing you do well each day. One way you took care of YOU. One action that is moving you closer to your goals for yourself. Nothing is too small.
Even if you screwed up 357 other things, write down that one small victory.
Train your mind to look for the good.
Another pathway to self-compassion is knowing that you’re not alone.
Look, we’re all kind of messed up and stumbling through this thing called life. If someone tells you they have it all figured out, they’re lying! Liar liar pants on fire!
A client of mine sent me this TED Talk last week (Glennon Doyle Melton: Lessons From the Mental Hospital).
It blew my mind. Raw + powerful + brilliant! I am currently soaking up everysinglething Glennon has written. You might say I’m obsessed. Guilty as charged.
After you watch the TED Talk, check out her blog.
Then go and get her book. Read it once, then read it again – then give it to a good friend. Seriously, it’s THAT good…
“Here’s my hunch: nobody’s secure, and nobody feels like she completely belongs. Those insecurities are just job hazards of being human. But some people dance anyway, and those people have more fun.” ~ Glennon Doyle Melton, Carry On, Warrior: Thoughts on Life Unarmed
Dance on Chickadees!
XO ~Robyn
PS: I’ve got openings for private Weight Loss Coaching coming up in EARLY September. Just around the corner. If you’re ready to lose the weight for good + create a more delicious life + practice self-compassion, then let’s chat Chickadee!
Click here to schedule a Discovery Session or email me directly at robyn@chickadeeweightloss.com.