Robyn Spurr

Personal Health and Weight Loss Coaching For Women

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Two Powerful Questions to Help You Rock Your Life

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I’m turning 40 this year and it has me thinking –

I want to rock the second half of my life.

But how?

Where to start?

The psychologist Russ Harris suggests a simple exercise.

Imagine that you’re eighty years old – and then complete the following sentences.

I wish I’d spent more time on…

I wish I’d spent less time on…

There is a latin phrase, memento mori. It means, remember that you will die.

We tend to ignore – and even fear death in American society.

But the more we remain aware of life’s impermanence, the more we will hold it dear – and not squander it away.

Steve Jobs once said,”Remembering that you are going to die is the best way that I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked.”

Asking these questions isn’t a morbid act. Asking these questions allows us to improve our odds of living a rich and fulfilling life.

And who doesn’t want that?

I answered them today for the first time –

but certainly not my last.

I’ve set a calendar reminder to complete this exercise every 6 months.

“Over the hill” doesn’t mean we can’t climb another mountain.

Or that it’s all downhill from here.

Screw that.

I’m just getting warmed up.

Robyn Spurr is a Certified Health Coach, Weight Loss Coach, Personal Trainer and founder of Chickadee Weight Loss. She helps women reach their healthy, natural weight and stay there without all the diet craziness.

For more information on Weight Loss Coaching, click here.

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Loving My Way Out of Debt

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My husband Brett contributes more to our household expenses than I do.

Like way more.

He never complains or insinuates that I ought to make more money.

Ever.

Despite this fact, I elected to feel bad anyway.

“I should contribute more.”

“I don’t make enough money.”

“I’m not enough.”

That last one  – ouch!

My negative thoughts around this circumstance were not only making me miserable, they were contributing to my ever growing debt.

  • Circumstance (fact) – I earn money for my work
  • Thought – I don’t make enough money
  • Feeling(s)– less than, shame, guilt
  • Action – buy stuff to distract from the negative feelings, consider getting a “regular paycheck” job (even thought I LOVE my business), focus attention on what I don’t have
  • Result – debt, contribute even less, feel “less than”, carry around the burden of debt

(To learn more about creating thought models, click here)

I paid off my credit card yesterday – after several years of carrying a balance in the thousands. It only took a few months.

I didn’t make more money than usual or win the lottery.

I changed my mind.

  • Circumstance (fact) – I earn money for my work
  • Thought – I love my work and my life
  • Feeling(s) – satisfied, grateful, fulfilled
  • Action – spend within my means, buy only what’s necessary, pay attention to what I do have, practice gratitude
  • Result – debt free, in love with my life and business, a better coach/trainer/wife

Being in debt felt heavy and burdensome – like carrying around a 40-pound dumbbell all day, every day. Although I hated how the debt made me feel, I continued to create more of it because I believed that I didn’t have enough. I was trapped in my very own negative spin cycle.

I see this with my Weight Loss Coaching clients all the time.

  • Circumstance (fact) – I have a body
  • Thought – I hate the way my body looks
  • Feeling(s) – disgusted, embarrassed, angry
  • Action – eat to distract from the negative feelings
  • Result – gain more weight, hate self and body even more

Self-hate is not an effective motivator.

My husband Brett and I were driving home from New Mexico on Sunday when it occurred to me that I could “contribute” in ways that have nothing to do with money.

I could choose to be someone who is a blast to live with each and every day – a joyful, supportive and grateful partner.

Choosing a positive attitude doesn’t cost a thing.

His response.

That’s the best gift you could give me. All I really want is for you to be happy.

I’m married to one heck of a man.

Robyn Spurr is a Certified Health Coach, Weight Loss Coach, Personal Trainer and founder of Chickadee Weight Loss. She helps women reach their healthy, natural weight and stay there without all the diet craziness.

For more information on Weight Loss Coaching, click here.

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Doubt and the Art of Getting Unstuck

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Heck, even a “life” coach can get a little lost at times.

A few months back, I found myself wondering…

Am I on the right path?

Questioning our path isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It can lead to validation, inspiration or a new, more appropriate path.

On the flip side, questioning our path can also lead to a state of debilitating doubt.

And I was stuck – unequivocally stuck – until I remembered the wise words of one of my mentors.

Our circumstances don’t cause suffering. WE create suffering with our thinking.

It was time to get to the bottom of my doubt.

When we feel a little lost, our first inclination is usually to blame the path we’re on.

Maybe I need to move to Argentina.

Or become a chef.

Or sell it all and travel the country in a Winnebago.

Sometimes a radical change in our path is exactly what we need – but making big decisions while feeling emotionally charged will usually lead to a negative result. Most of the time, we’re simply trying to escape the real issue – and the real issue will pack itself in our suitcase and follow us to Argentina.

It was time to get clear on what was causing my doubt before making any big decisions. I suspected an underlying toxic thought was the culprit, so I scheduled a self-coaching session with myself and got to work.

Step #1 – Find the Emotion

How was I feeling?

  • Stuck
  • Not enough
  • Wishy-washy

Step #2 – Identify the Thought

What was I thinking that was causing me to feel these emotions?

In that moment of reflection, I discovered the three poisonous words behind my doubt and suffering.

I NEED MORE.

Yikes. What a big, fat lie!

The good news – if I can cause suffering with my thinking, I can also undo suffering with my thinking.

It was time to find a new thought to replace the lie I had bought into.

Step #3 – Create a New Feeling

How do I want to feel?

  • Sure
  • Satisfied
  • Grateful

Step #4 – Find a New Thought

What new thought will create these desired feelings? 

I have everything I need.

Do I believe this thought?

Oh yes, I believe it!

Our minds are capable of creating misery. We think thousands of thoughts each day. Plenty of them are true, while many others are lies.

When we believe the lies, we can cause ourselves great pain.

That’s what I did.  And I’ll do it again. And so will you.

Next time you find yourself paralyzed by doubt or fear or worry, look for the lie.

Because you don’t have to believe everything you think.

~XO Robyn

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How to Stop Giving Yourself Permission to Overeat

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My clients and I spend a great deal of time examining sabotaging thoughts.

Food does not magically launch itself into our bellies. We make a conscious decision to eat (or not eat).

When we choose to eat for reasons other than physical hunger, there is always a sabotaging thought. We say, “this is okay to eat because _________________”.

Fill in the blank.

We often remain blissfully unaware of our sabotaging thoughts.

“OMG, the whole pint of Ben & Jerry’s is gone. How did THAT happen?”

Because you gave yourself permission to eat it darling.

Once my clients identify their most common Sabotaging Thoughts, we work together to create a New Response. The New Response has to be convincing enough to make you think twice about finishing off that bag of chips.

There are hundreds of examples – maybe thousands, but here are few favorites (complete with New Responses). Notice if any ring true for you.

  • Sabotage: I’ve already blown it for today so I’ll keep eating and get back on track tomorrow. 
  • Response: If I were driving on the highway and missed my exit, would I say, “I’ve really blown it now,” and drive 5 more hours in the wrong direction? Nope! I’d get off at the next exit and immediately turn around. Same with eating.
  • Sabotage: It’s okay to eat this because it’s just a little bit.
  • Response: It’s not about the calories, it’s about the habit. Every time I give in, I make it more likely I’ll give in the next time. Whether the food has 5 calories or 500 calories, it still reinforces the habit of giving in.
  • Sabotage: I don’t have time. 
  • Response: I have the same amount of time everyone else has. We ALL are busy. If it really matters to me, I’ll make time for it.
  • Sabotage: It’s the weekend. 
  • Response: My body doesn’t care what day of the week it is. Calories are still calories – even if it’s Saturday.
  • Sabotage: If I don’t finish it I’m wasting food. 
  • Response: I can waste it in the trash or on my body as extra fat – my choice.
  • Sabotage: I deserve it. 
  • Response: What I really deserve is good health and self respect.
  • Sabotage: Granny will be so sad if I don’t eat her pie.
  • Response: Is that really true? Will she really be sad or question my love over a slice of apple pie? (And if you REALLY believe Granny’s heart will break, tell granny you’re so full that you couldn’t possibly enjoy it right now. Ask her for a piece to go – and then throw it away or give it to a friend. She’ll never know.)

Take an honest look at the sabotaging thoughts that you use to justify overeating and refute them with a convincing New Response. Keep challenging each sabotaging thought until you find a response that really resonates with you.

Robyn Spurr is a Certified Health Coach, Weight Loss Coach, Personal Trainer and founder of Chickadee Weight Loss. She helps women reach their healthy, natural weight and stay there without all the diet craziness.

For more information on Weight Loss Coaching, click here.