Robyn Spurr

Personal Health and Weight Loss Coaching For Women

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Should Up!

 

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Last week I caught myself using a big bad word. In fact, it’s one of my least favorite words in the entire dictionary — SHOULD.

Here’s how it went down. I should be reading something more productive.

Seems innocent enough, right?

Wrong.

Saying should tends to make us feel bad. It keeps us stuck in a cycle of guilt and shame.

  • I should be losing weight faster.
  • I should do the laundry.
  • I should have a boyfriend.
  • I should go to the gym.
  • I should eat more veggies.

Try this – replace should with could and notice how the tone of each statement changes. Notice if it creates a different emotion for you.

  • I could be losing weight faster.
  • I could do the laundry.
  • I could have a boyfriend.
  • I could go to the gym.
  • I could eat more veggies.

Could means choice, and that we don’t have to do it. Hooray!

When I revisit my example and swap should for could, I suddenly have options and the power to make my own decision. I no longer feel like a 6 year old being reprimanded.

I could be reading something more productive feels so much better.

And after considering my choices, I decided to keep reading my frivolous, fun, fantasy fiction novel – The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman. I simply wasn’t in the mood for a serious read that day.

Now “should” up!

Robyn Spurr is a Certified Health Coach, Weight Loss Coach, Personal Trainer and founder of Chickadee Weight Loss. She helps women reach their healthy, natural weight and stay there without all the diet craziness.

For more information on Weight Loss Coaching, click here.

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You Can’t Hate Yourself Healthy

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I thought I could use hate as fuel.

To create the body I wanted.

A thin body.

But it didn’t work.

I’d hate the pounds away.

And they would come right back.

Every time.

 

A friend told me I needed to LOVE my way healthy.

I laughed.

And thought to myself.

I just need to hate a little harder.

“Stupid ugly body”

“Look at that cellulite”

“Lazy, disgusting, FAT”

 

Then one day I considered…

Maybe my friend is right?

 

So I taught myself how to love my body.

It was hard at first.

Like learning a new language.

 

But I practiced.

Relentlessly.

“Hello body.”

“This is the body I need to be me.”

“Judging myself hurts the world.”

“I can and I will.”

 

Sometimes the old thinking still shows up.

But I don’t believe it anymore.

I let it go.

And get right back to living life.

 

It took time to love myself healthy.

To stop dieting.

To stop punishing myself with exercise.

To stop using food to stuff down the emotions.

But it was worth it.

I was worth it.

And so are you.

 

Robyn Spurr is a Certified Health Coach, Weight Loss Coach, Personal Trainer and founder of Chickadee Weight Loss. She helps women reach their healthy, natural weight and stay there without all the diet craziness.

For more information, click here.

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What Anxiety Can Teach Us

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“You’re the most positive person I know.”

These words were spoken to me not once, but three times in the past few weeks.

I wasn’t always a positive person. I was immersed in a world of worry and negativity for most of my life.

My acceptance into the “gifted” Kindergarten class crippled me with fear. I didn’t think I would be able to keep up with the other kids. Yes, Kindergarten. Ask my Mom. Some major self-esteem issues at 5.

I refused to go to school for a week in 4th grade because I failed my first test. A history exam.

My sister Lynda’s math homework sent me into a state of panic. I was sure I’d never be able to master the same concepts when I was her age (she’s 9 years older me).

I drove my Dad crazy in the car – asking if we had enough gas and if he knew EXACTLY where he was going. On one trip up to the Catskills in New York, my family pretended the map flew out the window and laughed while I had a meltdown.

Clearly, they didn’t recognize the severity of my anxiety. I was just a quirky and “nervous” kid.

I worried. I cried. I complained. I agonized. I denied. I stuffed it down. I ate. I drank. I was obese.

And I was miserable.

I tried desperately to check out and disassociate from the noise in my brain.

After a bout of debilitating panic attacks, I finally saw a therapist. He prescribed meds. I was filled with horror and shame because I couldn’t handle it myself. I was always the “strong” one and I had failed.

I developed a rare side effect from the drugs – lymphocytic colitis. I chose to stop the meds, dive into CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) and deal with the withdrawal symptoms. Brain zaps anyone?

I discovered a new form of treatment. To fully embrace all that I am. To manage my emotions with my mind not food. To dance with the anxiety when it shows up. To acknowledge it, talk to it, feel it and learn from it.

Running and hiding and using food to numb our emotions doesn’t help. It only makes things worse. When we push against a negative feeling, it pushes right back – with a vengeance.

So, yes – I am a positive person. But it’s only because I decided to accept all of me, not just the pretty parts. It’s because I recognize that worrying is a waste of my precious energy. It’s because I know that I’m not alone – that so many other people suffer from anxiety. And it’s because I was willing to say shut up to my ego (now everyone will KNOW you’re crazy) and get help.

This “disorder” that so many of us are ashamed of. In times where death from starvation was always a threat, where animal attacks could happen at any moment and where strangers could kill you or your young, anxiety was one of the principal survival tools.

As I told one of my clients a few days ago – we would have kicked ass on the Savannah!

You’re not broken. You’re not damaged. You’re not a failure. And there is hope. XO

Robyn Spurr is a Certified Health Coach, Weight Loss Coach, Personal Trainer and founder of Chickadee Weight Loss. She helps women reach their healthy, natural weight and stay there without all the diet craziness.

For more information on Weight Loss Coaching, click here.

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What it Takes to Lose the Weight For Good

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The short answer. We’ve got it backwards. Permanent weight loss has nothing to do with finding the right diet or having enough willpower. Keeping the weight off requires more than a diet – it requires change. To change anything about our lives, even our brand of laundry detergent, causes great anxiety. This is exactly why the support of a coach (who has been down this road) is so helpful.

The not so short answer. Losing weight isn’t the hard part. We all know what we need to do – put down the damn cookies and move our bodies more often. The “hard” part is choosing to feel rather than cover up the sadness or anxiety with pizza. The “hard” part is getting clear about who we really are and what fulfills us.

When we’re fuzzy about these things, we feel constrained, stuck, uninspired, anxious and overwhelmed. And we eat to cope.

Eating temporarily distracts us from the unpleasant feelings – but as soon as we’re finished stuffing our faces, we’re right back to feeling bad – along with a side order of guilt, self-loathing and stomach pain.

Food doesn’t have magical powers – we do. And once we tap into our own brilliance and wisdom, we no longer need the extra food.

So how do we unleash this wisdom?

Simple. We ask the following question until we no longer believe that food is the answer…

Does this choice feel good in the deepest layers of my being?

And if you believe that binging on a box of Thin Mints feels good to your soul – then you’re lying to yourself

And you know it.

Robyn Spurr is a Certified Health Coach, Weight Loss Coach, Personal Trainer and founder of Chickadee Weight Loss. She helps women reach their healthy, natural weight and stay there without all the diet craziness.

For more information on Weight Loss Coaching, click here.