Robyn Spurr

Personal Health and Weight Loss Coaching For Women

Coaching Tools

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The Truth About Willpower + Weight Loss

There is this belief that willpower is a finite resource.

Research done in the 90’s + early 2000’s hinted at the idea that if you use a bunch of willpower early in the day, it will become depleted. Then later in the day, you’ll make all these decisions you might not have otherwise made if your willpower tank was full.

This hasn’t exactly been debunked, but what’s true (based on what we know today) is that willpower is a finite resource or something that strengthens with practice depending on WHAT YOU BELIEVE.

Say what?

If you believe willpower is a finite resource, then it will be for you.

But if you believe willpower is muscle that strengthens, not weakens with use – then you will actually have MORE willpower after exercising it.

Ah – the mind twisting science of psychology.

But to be perfectly honest – willpower is irrelevant in behavior change.

White knuckling your way to a lifestyle change doesn’t work. You just get good at white knuckling (dieting) and saying screw it.

Changing our lifestyle is a lot like learning to play guitar (or golf or piano). We have to build up our skills (reading music, tuning a guitar, reading tabs and chords, etc.) before we can rock out a Jimi Hendrix solo.

If we want to lose weight + keep it off, we need basic skills like tuning into our hunger signals, planning and prepping, eating slowly, etc.

Starting another restrictive diet is a lot like picking up a guitar and trying to play it like a pro. It wastes a bunch of time and energy and gets you nowhere.

The next time you find yourself thinking…

“But I want to lose weight quickly!”

…ask yourself how long it might take you become a decent guitar player – or golfer.

Practice leads to skills and skills lead to achieving goals.

XO ~Robyn

To learn more about Private Weight Loss Coaching, click HERE.

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Give In Or Discipline?

We all feel like giving up sometimes. What a relief it would be to not do the thing we’re supposed to do. To skip the workout. Call in sick. Eat all the things. Say, “eff it,” or, “it doesn’t really matter.” Just for today. And maybe tomorrow.

It’s not just me, right?

Despite our immediate desire to resist or avoid the task at hand, we all know that doing (insert task you don’t want to do) will leave us feeling better. Even if our heart isn’t in it. Even if it’s C+ work.

The simple act of showing up is a victory worth celebrating.

The reason most people don’t change is because we don’t want to experience discomfort. What’s the point of being uncomfortable when you can just stay the same?

I love what behavior change expert James Clear has to say about discomfort…

Relative to the time in your normal day or week, nearly any habit you perform is over quickly. Your workout will be finished in an hour or two. Your report will be typed to completion by tomorrow morning. This article will be finished in just a moment.

Life is easier now than it has ever been. 300 years ago, if you didn’t kill your own food and build your own house, you would die. Today, we whine about forgetting our iPhone charger.

Maintain perspective. Your life is good and your discomfort is temporary. Step into this moment of discomfort and let it strengthen you.

Our first instinct is to resist discomfort. To complain about it. Obsess over it. Make it bigger than it is.

This approach will wear you down. Fast.

Peacefully coexisting with the minor discomfort required for change keeps you in the game. Instead of obsessing + resisting + whoa is me-ing — invite it in. Embrace it. Look forward to it.

Look forward to it?

Yes. Because on the other side of temporary discomfort is something you will feel great about. On the other side of it is accomplishment and success.

Our daily lives are made up of thousands of little decisions to either give into the ease of immediate gratification or experience the discomfort of discipline. Your life is the sum of these seemingly tiny choices.

💙 Robyn

Interested in a one-on-one coaching relationship with me? It would be an honor to work with you if and when the time feels right.

To learn more about Personal Health Coaching click HERE. 

To schedule a Discovery Session click HERE.

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How to Ask Family + Friends for Support (Scripts Included)

Several years ago, I decided to rearrange the furniture in my living room. We’re talking two big sofas, a coffee table and one HEAVY! + unwieldy area rug.

There was sweat and swearing – but I did it!

Yay me. Right?

Not really.

I had to take Aleve + wear my ice belt of shame for a few days because my back was so jacked up.

So why did I move it all by myself – when I have a capable + strong + willing husband living with me?

Because I hated asking for help.

When given the chance, I would much rather move sofas + do pretty much anything on my own, thank-you-very-much.

“I’ve got this.”

“I can handle it.”

But doing it all yourself isn’t some great act of strength and independence. I know that now.

Asking for help is the true act of strength. It requires both tremendous courage and vulnerability.

Living a healthier lifestyle is so much easier when we have the support of our loved ones. And that often means asking for help.

I know, I know. Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered.

Here are some simple scripts you can use. Read them to yourself, or a trusted friend – and then, when you’re ready – ask for help.

You can do this!

How to ask for what you want + need.

Set up the discussion so other people are on your team. It’s not you vs them, it’s you along with your loved ones against the problem.

“I’d really like your support. Can you help me ________?”

“You’re really good at coming up with solutions for things. Can you help me figure out how to ________?”

Explain what you’re trying to do + why.

I’m trying to take better care of my health. I was really scared when I got (my cholesterol test results, my pre-diabetes diagnosis) and I’ve realized that I need to change some habits.”

State clearly what you would like help with, and how.

“What would help me most is ________.”

Negotiate a compromise if needed.

“I don’t want you to have to give up/change ________, because I know you enjoy it. Is there a way you can still have/do it, but I can still stay on track with my own choices?”

Jazz them up. Make them your own. But most of all – use them.

XO ~Robyn

I work with courageous + determined women who are ready to say goodbye to yo-yo dieting for good. We’ll use a sustainable, practice-based approach to build healthy habits into your life, one day at a time for an entire year.

The result? You’ll develop healthy habits that become second nature and last a lifetime. You’ll lose the weight (and inches) you haven’t been able to shed – for good.

If this resonates with you, CLICK HERE for details on how to work with me.

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When Finishing Last is Best

I’m a fast eater.

Maybe it’s because I’m originally from the GO GO GO New York metro area – or maybe I’m just wired that way (or as Lady Gaga would say – Born That Way).

I eat fast + talk fast + walk fast. The only person I know who eats faster than I do is my husband (also an east coaster). If I look away for a minute, whoosh – his food is GONE!

The single habit I’ve struggled most with on my own health journey has been eating slowly.

But why does eating slowly matter? Why should we care?

Did you know that our biological “satiety mechanism” kicks in about 20 minutes AFTER we start a meal? No matter how much we eat during the first 20 minutes of a meal, we won’t feel satisfied or full until we hit the magical satiety time.

If you tend to eat too much too quickly at meals, often followed by regret and the unbuttoning of pants, this is a habit worth practicing.

Slowing down allows our bodies’ natural satiety mechanisms to kick in and put on the brakes. If you’re someone who has tried intuitive eating and dismissed it as rubbish – it’s possible you were eating too quickly (or consuming too much processed food, which I’ll save for another post).

Remember: You can and will feel full if you just slow down. The body’s natural signals will do the work for you. You don’t have to overthink it.

Here’s why I love teaching the habit of slowing down. When you feel overwhelmed by all the healthier habits you need to work on, you can always come back to this one. It’s the perfect habit to focus on when things go sideways and you need to reboot. Like after a weekend of pizza + wings + beer + cake.

Where to Begin

Start by trying to add 5 minutes to one meal per day. Choose a meal where this habit is easiest to implement. For most of my clients, that’s dinner.

Here are a few of my favorite “slowing down” strategies. Choose one:

  • Savor your food. Really taste what you’re eating.
  • Put your utensils down between bites.
  • Take a breath between each bite. All the way in. All the way out.
  • Try to be the last person at the table to finish.

Remember, all you have to do is be just a little slower than normal. That’s how we improve.

Each week add a little more time – or try a different strategy.

Remember the statistics I shared in my last post?

  • Adopting one new habit at a time results in an 85% chance of success
  • Adopting two new habits at once: a 35% chance of success
  • Adopting three or more new habits at once: less than 10% chance of success

Choose one habit. Practice it for a minimum of two weeks. Then (and only then) add on.

By slowing down, you’ll sidestep the inevitable…

“OMG. I can’t believe I ate so much. How did that happen?”

Slowing down creates space. Space in which you can decide whether to stop eating – or keep going. Sometimes you’ll choose to stop – and other time you’ll keep going. That’s okay.

The point is, by slowing down, you’ll have the option to stop when you’re satisfied. You’ll have a sense of choice – and the ability to take responsibility for your actions.

XO ~Robyn

I work with courageous + determined women who are ready to say goodbye to yo-yo dieting for good. We’ll use a sustainable, practice-based approach to build healthy habits into your life, one day at a time for an entire year.

The result? You’ll develop healthy habits that become second nature and last a lifetime. You’ll lose the weight (and inches) you haven’t been able to shed – for good.

If this resonates with you, CLICK HERE for details on how to work with me.