Robyn Spurr

Personal Health and Weight Loss Coaching For Women

Coaching Tools

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I Gained Weight

I gained a few pounds this year.

And this was the BEST GIFT for so many reasons.

I lost my weight 20 years ago. About 50 pounds. And since then, I’ve kept within my healthy range. But I recently crept into a place where I just didn’t feel good in my body. 

The last few months have been a bit rough. My father in law died in December + my Dad died three weeks later + COVID. 

Note: This is not a plea for sympathy. Life is just hard sometimes. And when shit gets hard, my husband bakes bread like he is feeding an army. FOR REAL.

Over the past few months, I was eating too much fresh bread + drinking too many gin and tonics + generally snacking more frequently than usual. 

This is probably a good time to share a “rule” I adhere to around weight gain. 

I never blame other people or circumstances for gaining weight. There is only person who decides what and how much I eat – and that person is ME. 

So, I got to work. I faced the weight gain with curiosity + a “let’s figure this out” attitude. And that’s why it was a gift. Because it put me in YOUR shoes + helped me generate a bunch of new ideas for helping my clients lose weight.

For the entire month of May I started doing the things (or thinking I was doing the things). Cutting back here and there. Less alcohol. Less bread. Hiking in the morning AND evening. And the scale didn’t budge.  

Sometimes it takes a minute (or a month) to figure things out. Sometimes we need to go from gaining to maintaining first.

But in the moment, my brain began swirling with…

  • Guess it’s just going to be harder to lose weight at 45
  • Maybe you just need to settle in at 140
  • But I don’t understand WHY I’m not losing. I’m doing ALL THE THINGS!

I put an end to that BS thinking FAST. Because it was in no way going to help me solve this.

What I did instead was get curious + shift into problem solving mode.

Then…

For a few days in a row in June, I crushed it. I stuck to my plan. And the scale went up. Here’s what I know FOR SURE after a decade of coaching women on weight loss.

The scale doesn’t always reflect our actions. Because hormones + weather + hydration + physiology. We have to stay focused + be patient and then BOOM, the scale moves.

No matter what that scale said, I was proud of the way I showed up and wasn’t going to let the scale steal that from me. I wasn’t going to throw away all those good feelings because I didn’t lose half a frickin’ pound.

But what we normally do is tell ourselves… 

  • This isn’t working!
  • It’s not fair. 
  • I’m broken. 

Which inevitably leads to a pity party with pizza and donuts and screwing ourselves over. 

I follow the same advice I give to my clients. Lose the weight in a way that is sustainable + you ENJOY. Losing the weight and keeping it off doesn’t have to be hard. But that’s what we’ve been sold by the diet industry.

Eat 1200 calories (HARD!)

Cut out the carbs (SERIOUSLY?!)

Count every calorie (SUCKS!)

Trade in all the foods you love for foods that taste like crap (NOPE!)

And what makes it hardest of all is while we’re trying to follow some hideous diet plan, we’re usually BEATING OURSELVES UP the entire time.

  • I suck
  • I don’t deserve food that tastes good
  • I’m disgusting
  • Look at that belly
  • There is something wrong with me

I’ve come to the conclusion that being mean to ourselves is the #1 reason we don’t succeed at losing the weight + keeping it off. Followed close behind by believing stories that aren’t serving us like, “I don’t have the time,” or, “But I just love food too much,” or,” My family will SUFFER if I make myself a priority.”

Our brain is wired to look for problems + what is WRONG, and it takes a bit of practice to unwind that pattern.

There are two questions I ask myself every single morning as part of my “Plan + Assess” routine. I’ve started asking my clients to do the same.   

(1) What did I do well yesterday?

(2) What is one thought I want to deliberately think about myself today?

My answer to question #2 today – I am a weight loss badass!

When we feel better, we do better.

💙 Robyn

Interested in a one-on-one coaching relationship with me? It would be an honor to work with you if and when the time feels right.

To learn more about Personal Health Coaching click HERE. 

To schedule a Discovery Session click HERE.

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Eating With Structure + Freedom

Meals. What on earth are we doing if we’re not eating meals?

I will tell you: We’re doing things like…

  • bingeing 
  • grazing
  • fasting
  • picking
  • snacking
  • dieting
  • starving
  • and eating all day long

Fifteen thousand years ago (or thereabouts) our ancestors stopped grazing all day as they roamed. They settled down, sowed crops, and developed a pleasant schedule of getting together regularly to eat. We went from eating all day long, berry after berry, to sitting down to lunch.

Regular, repeated mealtimes is a human design pattern that stayed in place until kids had to get up at 4am for swim practice, and bagels or Pop Tarts were consumed while driving.

Until we were forced to take jobs that don’t even allow us bathroom breaks, let alone meals (never mind that’s illegal).

Until parents had to work late and kids had rehearsal and families found it hard to get together at the end of the day.

That’s how eating meals disappeared.

You can still see people observing this human eating pattern in places like Mexico, Japan, Spain and France.

I love eating regular meals at regular-ish mealtimes because it makes it easier to answer the following question…

Should I eat this?

If it’s mealtime: Eat.
If it’s NOT mealtime: Don’t eat until mealtime.

Important note: When I say “meal” I mean “an interval of eating”. This doesn’t have to mean “square” meals, or a certain number of courses, or any prescriptions that you don’t want to follow. It could look like a “square” meal, or it could look like a snack, or it could look like a latte. You could be sitting down or standing up.

By “meal” I just mean a time when you consume nutrition.

I highly suggest finding a meal “structure” that generally works for you most days of the week.

This might be breakfast, lunch, snack and dinner. It might be tiny snack, medium snack and giant dinner. It doesn’t matter. What matters is that you…

  1. establish a pattern (which helps calm and restore hunger hormones)
  2. that works for your life and your schedule
  3. and provides you enough food to get to the next meal

Note: Meals have a beginning, a middle and an end. There’s a gap before you eat again, and it is important to build in a gap.

And if you have a giant craving or feel a binge coming on, tell yourself you’ll satisfy that craving at the very next meal. The main thing here is to create a structure of your own design and stick to that structure.

This is how we dismantle grazing. This is how we eliminate diet mentality (i.e. I was “good” so I can have this treat, I was “bad” so no breakfast tomorrow).

This is how we end the constant…

Should I have a cookie? Maybe just one. But I know I’ll want more if I have one. How about I have a few today and then tomorrow I’ll go for a long run. Or skip lunch.

This balance of structure and freedom has been used successfully to treat binge eating disorder. But it also works beautifully to eliminate grazing + create a healthy relationship with food after years (or decades) of on-and-off dieting.

Will you get it right immediately? Hells no. This is an experiment, and of course you’ll want to adjust as you go. And by “as you go” I mean take note of what’s working and what’s not working and try to improve timing and amounts and types of food at your very next opportunity, which is the NEXT MEAL. 

Don’t spontaneously decide to extend the meal by going back for more helpings. Have an idea of what the meal consists of from the beginning. If you don’t, your hey-let’s-eat-more habit will kick in with some reasonable-sounding arguments about just this once. Don’t force yourself to eat at the previously scheduled time if you really don’t want to. Eat later! No big deal. Adjust the day’s schedule as needed, and maybe try a different schedule tomorrow.

Don’t force yourself to eat more than you want at a meal. You can have more soon, because the next meal is coming within a few hours. You’ll make it even if you don’t finish this meal.

Don’t force yourself to wait for the scheduled mealtime if you’re gonna perish of hunger. But get back to some kind of schedule as soon as you can, and maybe be more generous with portions.

A rule of thumb that you might use is to schedule meals no more than about four hours apart.* You might have breakfast at 8, lunch at 12:30, a snack at 4, dinner at 7:30 (just for example). That will both keep you from getting too hungry and make it likely you’ll be ready for something.

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The REAL Reason Healthy Eating is Hard (and how to do it anyway)

The benefits of good nutrition and maintaining a healthy weight are clear. There’s no need to provide yet another list.

With so many compelling reasons to eat a healthy diet, why is it so difficult to actually do?

Hint: the answer is not more willpower or greater motivation.

One of the MAIN reasons eating a healthy diet is difficult is because JUNK FOOD IS DELICIOUS (+ widely available + inexpensive).

Steven Witherly is a food scientist who has spent the last 20 years studying what makes certain foods more addictive (and tasty) than others. Much of the science that follows is from his brilliant report, Why Humans Like Junk Food. According to Witherly, when you eat tasty food, there are two factors that make the experience pleasurable.

First, there is the sensation of eating the food. This includes what it tastes like (salty, sweet, umami, etc.), what it smells like, and how it feels in your mouth.

Food companies will spend millions of dollars to discover the most satisfying level of crunch in a potato chip. Their scientists will test for the perfect amount of fizzle in a soda. These factors all combine to create the sensation that your brain associates with a particular food or drink.

The second factor is the actual macronutrient makeup of the food—the blend of proteins, fats, and carbohydrates that it contains. In the case of junk food, food manufacturers are looking for a perfect combination of salt, sugar, and fat that excites your brain and gets you coming back for more.

The more junk food you eat, you more you crave it.

So how do you build the habit of eating less junk? How do you become a healthy eater?

Here are two simple strategies.

#1. Reduce exposure. Remove the cues.

The easiest way to become a healthy eater is to avoid buying processed and packaged foods altogether.

If you don’t own it, you can’t eat it.

The number one driver of behavior change is your environment.

Your environment has an incredible ability to shape your behavior. Nowhere is this more true than with food. What we eat on a daily basis is often a result of what we are presented with.

You can also reduce your exposure (or the triggers that often lead to a craving) by managing what you see on social media.

If your Instagram feed is bursting with cupcakes, you WILL crave cupcakes each time you see one.

The average person spends over two hours a day on social media. That’s a lot of cupcakes.

Full disclosure: I recently unfollowed a local French macaron shop because MACARONS!!!

I do not have superhuman willpower – or endless stores of motivation. What I do have is an environment designed to set myself up for success.

The best way to unwind an unwanted (“bad”) habit is to make it invisible and/or difficult.

Reduce exposure. Remove the cues. Increase the number of steps between you and the “bad” habit. Limit choices.

  • Don’t put the ice cream in your shopping cart. Don’t even go down the ice cream aisle.
  • Put half your restaurant meal in a to-go box immediately and close it up.
  • Get the decadent French macarons off your Instagram feed.
  • Stash the snacks in the back of a shelf that requires a chair to get to.
  • Wrap unhealthy foods in aluminum foil and healthy foods in plastic wrap.
  • Put fruit (and other healthy snacks) on display.
  • Repackage unhealthy snacks into smaller Ziploc bags or containers.
  • Use a small plate so getting seconds means having to get up.

#2 Never eat two unhealthy meals in a row.

A flexible healthy diet means making allowances for unhealthy food from time to time. I’m a Jersey girl. I love pizza and bagels and a good eggplant parmesan on occasion.

I am not a perfect eater. I don’t want to be a perfect eater. Delicious food brings me joy when eaten in moderation.

I have a simple rule that I try to follow: whenever I eat an unhealthy meal, I follow it with a healthy one.

The “never miss twice” rule helps to guide me back toward a healthy diet as quickly as possible.

Fall down. Get up.

You can take this same approach to almost anything in life. If you want to make a unwanted behavior more difficult, then increase the number of steps between you and the behavior.

Meanwhile, if you want to make a good behavior easier, reduce the number of steps between you and the behavior. For example, if you want to make it easier to go for a walk then lay out your shoes and walking gear the night before. One less step between you and your workout.

People who are experts at what you want to do/be/achieve are not willpower and motivation unicorns.

They’ve simply designed their environment in a way that aligns with their goals and developed habits that get them the results they want.

If five flavors of potato chips lived in my pantry, I would eat ALL THE CHIPS.

I do not have junk food resisting superpowers. 

I have less cravings because I rarely eat junk food.

I’ve build up healthy habits over the years that run on autopilot.

My environment supports my goals.

I use apps and tools and services that make healthy living easier.

If my husband buys cookies, they go in the basement – or in his office.

You can do it too. Superpowers not necessary.

XO ~Robyn

Interested in a one-on-one coaching relationship with me? It would be an honor to work with you if and when the time feels right.

To learn more about Personal Health Coaching click HERE. 

To schedule a Discovery Session click HERE.

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Beauty Sick Book Review

I sometimes struggle with reconciling my advocacy of body acceptance with the fact that I help women lose weight.

Can you respect your body and want to change it?

My answer is a resounding yes. More than ever.

If I didn’t believe this to be true, there is no way I could do this work with integrity.

Unwinding beauty sickness and appreciating what our bodies do FOR us is an essential component of well-being.

In her book, Beauty Sickness, Renee Englen, a professor at Northwestern University and head of the Body and Media Lab, very clearly and in a very compelling manner exposes the cultural epidemic of beauty sickness, the obsession with appearance, and how it affects or has affected most women in America.

Using scientific studies and interviews with women, young and old and from all different walks of life, she shows the disturbing scope of this problem. The stories of these women are heartbreaking and oh-so-familiar and I could see myself (particularly my younger self) in so many of them.

But Renee doesn’t just leave you with the realization of all the damage beauty sickness has wrought, she very gracefully lays out some extremely helpful and practical solutions to the problem.

1. Function over form. When we really stop to analyze how much we focus on appearance, it’s pretty astounding. Instead of focusing on what we (or others) look like, zero in on what our amazing bodies CAN DO (e.g. hug our loved ones, see a beautiful vista, sing a song, hike a trail, smell lilacs).

The way to take better care of your body is not by shaming it, it’s by being kind and practicing gratitude for all the things it does for you.

2. Love not hate. Please don’t listen to those who claim you have to hate how your body looks in order to motivate healthy behaviors. These claims ARE NOT supported by any type of scientific data.

3. Ask different questions. How do you want the world to be different when you leave it? What kind of person do you want to be? What do you want to be remembered for? Probably not great abs. Let the answers to these questions have a greater influence on how you spend your time + money + energy.

4. Media. Don’t consume media messages about the ideal body. Whether its TV shows, your Instagram feed, magazine covers, books – if it pushes the unobtainable, photoshopped ideal, don’t look at it and don’t think about it.

I recently revamped my Instagram feed to include ONLY people + businesses that promote acceptance and inclusivity. Posts that lift me up and inspire. Life changing.

Instead of fighting the poison after it’s already entered your system, change what you’re consuming.

5. Body Talk. Try not to talk negatively about your body, especially in front of children. Whenever we complain about our body we’re encouraging those around us to do the same.

“When we degrade our own bodies, we send the message to others that it’s acceptable for them to do so as well.”

6. Praise Character. When praising others, try not to focus on appearance.

This one is HARD.

We’re conditioned to praise appearance. What’s FASCINATING is the research shows that even a “positive” comment makes the recipient become more body conscious.

“That shirt looks so good on you,” reminds the wearer that her appearance is being critiqued.

Instead of praising appearance, praise character, what they’ve accomplished, who they are at the heart.

“Anything that draws a woman’s attention to the appearance of her own body or makes her feel as though her body is being evaluated can result in body shame.”

I will say, I found this book difficult to read on occasion. It challenges. It triggers. It asks you to reexamine deep-rooted beliefs and behaviors.

But – if you’re ready, it can also be a powerful catalyst for healing.

XO ~Robyn

Interested in a one-on-one coaching relationship with me? It would be an honor to work with you if and when the time feels right.

To learn more about Personal Health Coaching click HERE. 

To schedule a Discovery Session click HERE.