Robyn Spurr

Personal Health and Weight Loss Coaching For Women

Simplify

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When Goal Setting Goes Bad

Last July I committed to simplifying my life.

You know – declutter, organize, procrastinate less, create more.

In fact, I wrote a detailed post outlining my plan.

I’ve made some headway and it’s due time for an update – more like a progress report of sorts (eek). Here it goes.

  • Create a daily MIT list (most important things) – A
  • Mindfulness – B+
  • Purge – B
  • Unplug from the internet – F

Teacher’s Comments: Robyn works hard in class, but doesn’t seem to put much energy behind the subjects she’s not passionate about. Also, she is easily distracted.

Sorry, having a little fun here.

Oh yeah, that big old F.

F-Report-Card

If you’ve read this blog for awhile, you know I’m not a fan of beating myself up. I prefer to look at “failure” as a learning opportunity.

When it comes to setting realistic goals, we have to (a) want to do what it takes to achieve the goal and (b) believe that we are capable of doing what it takes.

Let’s look at my original commitment:

“I will shut down my computer on Friday night and fire it back up on Sunday morning.”

I’m certainly capable of turning my computer off – it’s (a) that’s the problem. I don’t want to disconnect for 36 hours. It doesn’t “feel” good to me.

Seems my goal was a bit too lofty.

We all do it. We think to ourselves – if I set this grandiose goal, then I’ll achieve it. Wrong!

For example…

  • I’ll lose 100 pounds this year
  • I’ll run my first marathon (even though I can’t run down the block)
  • I’ll start a new business and make 100K the first year

Then what? We deprive ourselves of all the foods we love, we overdo it at the gym, we get completely overwhelmed – and we GIVE UP.

It’s so very important to create goals that feel good and that we believe are achievable. If you dread doing what it takes to reach your goal, it’s not a good goal and you’re setting yourself up for failure Chickadee.

Reaching our ultimate goal is better achieved using baby steps.

Let’s take a look at my goal from last summer one more time:

“I will shut down my computer on Friday night and fire it back up on Sunday morning.”

The thought of shutting down for a day and half still gives me a panic attack.

Panic-Attack-Woman-203x300

Here’s a new commitment – one that feels good and that I actually want to do.

I will “unplug” each evening at 8:00.

No more surfing until 10:00. No more checking emails right before bed.

Unplugging at 8:00 may not seem like a big deal, but achieving this small goal will create evidence for success (I did it). And that feeling of accomplishment (I did it) often inspires us to set the bar a little higher. Set goals that allow for success.

Maybe one day I’ll actually want to shut down from Friday night until Sunday morning.

Today is not that day. Or tomorrow. Maybe next year.

Stay tuned.

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Time For a “Break”

On November 26th, I’ll be back in the capable hands of surgeon extraordinaire, Dr. Alan Ng. Seems my right foot was jealous of all the attention my left foot received last year and wanted some bling of it’s very own.

I’m not writing this post for sympathy or to whine about needing surgery. Hell, no. There’s a point – I promise.

I’ve been spending some time this week rescheduling and canceling appointments already booked for later this year and letting my personal training clients know that I’ll be on hiatus for a bit.

Yeah, so – what’s the point?

Here’s what I found so very interesting during this process. Several of these folks said they were jealous (yes, jealous). Jealous of having a black belt in karate and master of Muay Thai kickboxing (yes, my surgeon is totally badass) voluntarily break your foot and pin it back together, resulting in 4 to 6 weeks on crutches (or a kneeling scooter) and another 6 or so weeks in a walking cast? Wow!

One of my friends, let’s call her Tina, said – maybe I should go and have a tummy tuck. I could really use some down time. No shit – exact words.

Perhaps you’re thinking the same thing – ah, a much needed break from the craziness of life. Some time to sit on the couch and read and let someone else schlep the kids around to football or dance class.

To be perfectly honest, after hearing the news, I thought, oh good, I’ll finally have some time to work on those big projects I keep putting off and read those books that are piling up and listen to my favorite podcasts and … 

Yep, add me to the list – I’m guilty too!

So, what the hell is going on? Why don’t we take the time necessary to reflect, recharge and breathe? Why do we need a big reason, like surgery, to justify a break?

I suspect it has to do with our high tech, 24/7, super-sized, fast paced culture. I’m only 37 (38 in 2 weeks, Scorpio power!), but I can still remember when stores were closed on Sundays and what life was like before email, the internet, texting (please, I beg you, don’t text me) and cell phones. I sometimes long for those days. Lordie, I sound like my grandmother.

It’s not just the adults, it’s the kids too. It’s not uncommon for a 9 or 10 year old to be involved in 3 or 4 sports in addition to piano lessons, scouts and church activities. What happened to water balloon fights and playing tag in the neighborhood? I rarely see kids playing outside these days. Except for the new family across the street. Those kiddos are outside all day. It’s so refreshing.

So what do we do?

We begin by looking at all of our commitments and asking some honest questions. Is this really necessary? Do I really want to do this? Is this fun?

I love the last question. I recently read Richard Branson’s, Screw It Let’s Do It (highly recommend and only $3.91 on kindle). If you’re unfamiliar with Sir Richard, he’s the guy who made a fortune dreaming big and doing things he’s passionate about (music, air & space travel) all while having a blast. Here’s a recent Facebook post:

While reading his book, this particular passage stood out:

“As soon as something stops being fun, I think it’s time to move on. Life is too short to be unhappy. Waking up stressed and miserable is not a good way to live.”

If your feeling a little overwhelmed, start here. Make a list of all of your voluntary commitments and ask yourself one simple question – is this fun?

It’s a good place to start and it sure beats foot surgery.

More to come on this topic. Lots more – stay tuned.

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Cleaning Out The Closet

If you’re a client of mine (hey there Chickadee) or have been following the blog (thanks for reading), you know that I’m on a mission to simplify my life. I’m happy to announce that the Great Closet Clean Out took place this past Saturday. Big thanks to Brene Brown and Russ Roberts (yes, I find Economics strangely fascinating). Their podcasts kept my mind busy while I worked away.

The idea of decluttering and simplifying has been on my radar ever since I was laid up on the couch after foot surgery last fall. Seems I wasn’t too happy about getting my picture taken on this particular day. The Vicodin must of brought out my inner Jersey Girl. Hey, you lookin’ at me?!

Point is, I found myself with the gift of time and hours to spend reading each day. I fell in love with a blog called Zen Habits and it got me thinking.

Fast forward to July of 2012 when I decided it was time to finally take action. Confession: I can get a little too caught up in researching and planning.

While, I’ve made lots of progress, the closet clean out kept getting pushed back. Here’s the the before photo. Now you know why I was procrastinating.

Ten+ years of clothes, shoe boxes, bedding and files (yes, I keep a filing cabinet in my closet). I took a deep breath and decide to start with my shoes. Why not?

A task this monumental can tend to overwhelm. I repeated the same sentences over and over in my mind – One step at a time. Take your time. This isn’t a race. Breathe.

At the end of the day I had four huge bags of garbage (lots of busted boxes, old files, gnarly tank tops, beat up flip flops and socks without partners).

Piles of clothes for Goodwill.

And some items worth dropping off at the consignment store.

But I just couldn’t seem to part with this little gem I picked up while visiting The Very Large Array near Socorro, New Mexico. Even though I’ve never worn it.

I spent the rest of the day walking in and out of the closet – relishing in my success and ability to enter without feeling suffocated. Like an artist admiring their work. I was SO VERY PROUD.

So what does cleaning out your closet have to do with weight loss? I’m so glad you asked. I wrote this post on Facebook a few days ago.

It’s that simple. Once the closet clean out was complete, I have to admit, I felt physically lighter and more in tune with my body.

 

So what’s next?

Well, I’m continuing down this path for sure. The car. The basement. Less spending. More saying no to things that waste my time and keep me from achieving my goals.

I’ve even been daydreaming of a smaller home on several acres of land. We’ll see.

If you’re interested in simplifying, I have a few recommendations. First, check out Leo Babauta’s blog Zen Habits. Read through his Beginner’s Guide. If you’re compelled to explore this topic further, check out some of these great books:

Does This Clutter Make My Butt Look Fat?

Body Clutter

Clear Your Clutter With Feng Shui (haven’t read this yet, but I hear it’s great)

I’ll continue to blog about my progress here on the website. What seemed at first like an insurmountable task (simplifying my life, not just cleaning the closet) is looking more and more achievable with each small success. Just like losing weight.

Try not to focus on the total number of pounds you want to lose or how out of shape you are. Pick one small thing and start working on it. Replace your morning donut with whole grain toast and little natural peanut butter or a hot bowl of oatmeal. Go for a 15 minute walk instead of sitting down to watch TV. Buy a healthy cookbook or a new pair a running shoes.

When we achieve small successes we build confidence and feel good about ourselves. And that is exactly what moves us one step closer to our ultimate goal.

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Lessons From Iceland

The hubby and I just returned from a 7 night trip to Iceland, yes Iceland. When we announced our travel plans nearly 2 months ago, I heard an awful lot of – really, why in the world would you go to ICE-land?

Just before leaving the land of fire and ice, I posted the following status on my Facebook wall:

Why I Love Iceland:

Nature – Waterfalls, fjords, Northern lights, cliffs, flowers, rainbows, black sand beaches, volcanos, glaciers. Nature has a way of soothing the mind and inspiring the spirit like nothing else. Seriously, just look at these pictures (we took nearly 600):

The Food – One word – fresh! Iceland has some of the richest fishing waters in the world. I enjoyed trout, salmon, scallops, cod, langa, char and langoustine (the BEST lobster tails I’ve ever tasted).

And the lamb, don’t even get me started.

Did you know that you can get the most delicious lamb stew in gas stations all over the country – yes, gas stations!

Simplicity – The architecture and decor is simple. Most of our hotel rooms were uncomplicated – but in a good way. White walls. White comforters. Simple, uncluttered and clean. Ahh!

Petta Reddast – Icelanders are some of the most optimistic in the world. All that omega-3? The fresh air? A survival strategy (months of darkness, volcano eruptions, financial meltdowns)? Who knows for sure. But it’s kind of awesome. In Iceland there is a phrase, well sort of a national motto – petta reddast. It basically means – this will all work out one way or another. I think I’ll tattoo it on my forehead.

Non-Seriousness – This might be one of the best things about Iceland. I have a tendency to take life a little way too seriously. Confession: I actually belong to a private Facebook forum called, support for taking life too seriously. I shit you not, here’s the proof…

I’ve made major progress in the past 5 or 6 years, but I still aspire to be one of those, let it slide kind of folks. One day.

I love how Alda Sigmunsdottir describes this aspect of the culture, The Little Book of the Icelanders:

“The Icelanders just cannot take anything too seriously – least of all themselves. Indeed, taking yourself too seriously is considered a minor crime in Iceland, and instantly makes you a target for all sorts of ridicule.”

I could go on and on. My husband and I plan to return again in a few years (maybe sooner), this time exploring the Western fjords and northern part of the country. We never travel for the sake of going on a vacation. We travel to observe unfamiliar cultures, gain a different perpective and immerse ourselves in something new. You’ll never see us parked on a resort beach in Mexico for a week – not that there’s anything wrong with that. It’s just not our thing.

If you happen to love adventure and natural beauty, go and book some tickets – like now. Most folks visit in the summer (keep in mind you will NOT see the Northern lights with all that daylight). I’ve always been a fan of shoulder seasons – when there are fewer tourists, but the weather is still nice. September is beautiful, but can be rather rainy – we got very lucky.

I asked around, and most locals suggested late May or early June, though several struggled to name their favorite time of year. Guess we’ll have to return until we’ve visited during each season – oh darn.

Until then, I’m going to incorporate the lessons I learned. Slow down, enjoy nature, eat locally and seasonally and of course, don’t take it all so seriously!