Self Acceptance

See if you can relate to the following scenario?

You’ve stumble upon an old picture of yourself. At the time the photo was taken you didn’t particularly like your body. Maybe you thought your butt was too big or you still needed to lose a few pounds. Maybe you wished your stomach was a little flatter or your face was thinner.

When you look at the picture today, you see a beautiful woman – and you wonder why you were so hard on yourself. You might even be wishing you had that body right now. The one you didn’t like very much at the time.

Sound familiar?

This, my dear, is one example of chasing perfection – and it’s a great way to set yourself up for failure and make yourself (and everyone around you) miserable.

I’m guilty. At my lowest adult weight, I still wasn’t satisfied with the way I looked. While posing for a photo with my family several years ago, I clearly remember thinking that my thighs looked fat in the jeans I was wearing. At nearly 5’6″, I weighed somewhere in the low 120’s at the time. I was thin, really thin – but I couldn’t see the truth through the distorted fog I created with my thinking.

Today, I weigh nearly 10 pounds more than I did on that day – and I’ve never been healthier or happier. The difference? The girl in that photo was chasing perfection – and the girl writing this blog post is pursuing a healthy life.

Let’s compare the two.

Perfect: being entirely without fault or defect : flawless

Healthy: enjoying health and vigor of body, mind, or spirit : well

You can spend your entire life on the perfection highway – enduring endless potholes, roadblocks and uninspiring views through the window that just aren’t as pretty as you hoped for.

Or, you can reprogram the GPS in your head with a new destination – a lovely little haven called healthy.

I’ve traveled both roads and I can assure you – the road to healthy is considerably smoother and the scenery – it’s absolutely breathtaking.

“If you look for perfection, you’ll never be content.” ~Leo Tolstoy

Robyn Spurr is a Certified Health Coach, Weight Loss Coach, Personal Trainer and founder of Chickadee Weight Loss. She helps women reach their healthy, natural weight and stay there without all the diet craziness.

For more information on Weight Loss Coaching, click here.

At a recent appointment with my foot surgeon, he mentioned that I might give biking a try (he doesn’t want me running anymore).

“Um, okay – why not?”

It’s been well over 10 years, maybe closer to 20 since I last rode a bike – and to be honest, I wasn’t very good at it then.

I totally sucked on my first ride – in a hilarious kind of way. Every time I would get to a tight turn, I’d wind up off the trail. I was afraid to hop down curbs and my hands formed a death grip around the handle bars at all times.

It was like being seven all over again.

Two nights ago, the hubby and I set off for my 5th ride. I made the turns, rode down the curb and let go with one hand so I could grab a drink.

Starting something new isn’t easy.

Being willing to suck at it means you’re trying. That you’re stepping out of your comfort zone.

Sucking is the only way to learn and get better.

I remember going through Weight Loss Coach Training and hearing my mentor, the extraordinary Brooke Castillo, endlessly remind us to be willing to do a terrible job. To stop comparing our beginning to other people’s middle or end. That even the most revered and successful coaches were once beginners who sucked at it.

During class we had to post recordings of our coaching sessions to a public forum. They were listened to by our classmates and some seasoned coaches. Feedback was given – lots of feedback.

A few coaches let this mess with their heads and refused to post any calls. These would-be coaches didn’t learn, didn’t improve and didn’t get certified. While I wasn’t exactly thrilled about posting my calls, I simply replayed the thought – be willing to suck at it Robyn – over and over in my head.

And now I don’t suck. In fact, I’m a pretty darn effective coach with a growing business. But I’m still learning – every single day.

If I wasn’t willing to suck, I wouldn’t be here now.

I wouldn’t have my own coaching practice.

I wouldn’t be getting paid to do work that I absolutely adore.

I wouldn’t be getting better at biking – or cooking.

What might you be good at now if you were willing to suck at first?

This weekend I’ll hop back on my bike and I’ll suck a little less than last time. And one day, when I’m a proficient mountain biker, I’m sure I’ll be sucking at something else – like playing guitar or speaking Icelandic (yep, it’s on my “to suck at” list).

Don’t let being a beginner stop you. Start, suck at it – and keep going.

Hafðu það gott (have a nice day)

Robyn Spurr is a Certified Health Coach, Weight Loss Coach, Personal Trainer and founder of Chickadee Weight Loss. She helps women reach their healthy, natural weight and stay there without all the diet craziness.

For more information on Weight Loss Coaching, click here.

Last week I caught myself using a big bad word. In fact, it’s one of my least favorite words in the entire dictionary — SHOULD.

Here’s how it went down. I should be reading something more productive.

Seems innocent enough, right?

Wrong.

Saying should tends to make us feel bad. It keeps us stuck in a cycle of guilt and shame.

• I should be losing weight faster.
• I should do the laundry.
• I should have a boyfriend.
• I should go to the gym.
• I should eat more veggies.

Try this – replace should with could and notice how the tone of each statement changes. Notice if it creates a different emotion for you.

• I could be losing weight faster.
• I could do the laundry.
• I could have a boyfriend.
• I could go to the gym.
• I could eat more veggies.

Could means choice, and that we don’t have to do it. Hooray!

When I revisit my example and swap should for could, I suddenly have options and the power to make my own decision. I no longer feel like a 6 year old being reprimanded.

I could be reading something more productive feels so much better.

And after considering my choices, I decided to keep reading my frivolous, fun, fantasy fiction novel – The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman. I simply wasn’t in the mood for a serious read that day.

Now “should” up!

Robyn Spurr is a Certified Health Coach, Weight Loss Coach, Personal Trainer and founder of Chickadee Weight Loss. She helps women reach their healthy, natural weight and stay there without all the diet craziness.

For more information on Weight Loss Coaching, click here.