Last week I caught myself using a big bad word. In fact, it's one of my least favorite words in the entire dictionary --- SHOULD. Here's how it went down. I should be reading something more productive. Seems innocent enough, right? Wrong. Saying should tends to make us feel bad. It keeps us stuck in a cycle of guilt and shame. I should be losing weight faster. I should do the laundry. I should have a boyfriend. I should go to the gym. I should eat more veggies. Try this - replace should with could and notice how the tone of each statement changes. Notice if it creates a different emotion for you. I could be losing weight faster. I could do the laundry. I could have a boyfriend. I could go to the gym. I could eat … [Read more...] about Should Up!
Self Acceptance
You Can’t Hate Yourself Healthy
I thought I could use hate as fuel. To create the body I wanted. A thin body. But it didn’t work. I’d hate the pounds away. And they would come right back. Every time. A friend told me I needed to LOVE my way healthy. I laughed. And thought to myself. I just need to hate a little harder. “Stupid ugly body” “Look at that cellulite” “Lazy, disgusting, FAT" Then one day I considered... Maybe my friend is right? So I taught myself how to love my body. It was hard at first. Like learning a new language. But I practiced. Relentlessly. “Hello body.” “This is the body I need to be me.” "Judging myself hurts the world." “I can and I will.” Sometimes the old thinking still shows … [Read more...] about You Can’t Hate Yourself Healthy
What Anxiety Can Teach Us
“You’re the most positive person I know.” These words were spoken to me not once, but three times in the past few weeks. I wasn’t always a positive person. I was immersed in a world of worry and negativity for most of my life. My acceptance into the “gifted” Kindergarten class crippled me with fear. I didn’t think I would be able to keep up with the other kids. Yes, Kindergarten. Ask my Mom. Some major self-esteem issues at 5. I refused to go to school for a week in 4th grade because I failed my first test. A history exam. My sister Lynda's math homework sent me into a state of panic. I was sure I’d never be able to master the same concepts when I was her age (she’s 9 years older me). I drove my Dad crazy in the car - asking if we had … [Read more...] about What Anxiety Can Teach Us
Reclaiming Your Sparkle
On November 26th of last year, I had foot surgery. My second in two years. I’ve written about it quite a bit, because you know - surgery is a kind of a big deal. Especially when it renders you unable to walk for a month. But this post isn’t about surgery, it’s about sparkle. Losing your sparkle and reclaiming it. Let me begin by clarifying my definition of sparkle... A spring in your step Your inner light Effervescence Feeling vital and vivid and in technicolor Your bam, boom, kapow and razzle dazzle (like Superman meets Bob Fosse) When you’ve lost it, things feel a bit of grey and blah. I’m not talking about depression - more like a lack of pizazz. So, I have a theory. On that cold and gloomy day in November, the … [Read more...] about Reclaiming Your Sparkle