Robyn Spurr

Personal Health and Weight Loss Coaching For Women

Self Acceptance

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A Memorial For Painful Memories

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We humans have a tendency to want to make painful or unpleasant thoughts + feelings + memories go away. In fact, we go to great lengths to avoid having them show up – over and over. We eat cupcakes, drink wine, do drugs, pop pills, try hypnosis – yet they always return, no matter how hard we try.

There’s an alternative way to approach painful memories.

Think of your body as a vessel, with all of the bits and pieces of you inside – your memories, your organs, your mind, your emotions.

Now imagine that there’s a small part of your body meant to honor all the painful memories – a memorial of sorts. This memorial serves as a symbol of the fact that, through all the pain, through all the difficulty – you have endured. You keep moving on. You continue.

Try this. Take a minute to choose a place in your body where your memorial will live. Where you’ll house all of your painful memories. Maybe it’s located in a small section of your heart or tucked away in a corner of your mind.

A memorial is an object that serves as a remembrance of something.

Memorials aren’t meant to make us feel happy; rather they serve to honor the past and keep memories alive.

From time to time, you’ll pass by this memorial and honor your journey and your perseverance. Other times there will be new memories to add.

Ignoring a memory or trying to pretend it’s not there is a form of self-dislike. It’s like saying that there’s something wrong with a piece of your history.

It’s the opposite of self-compassion.

Instead of trying to make the painful memories go away (which never works long-term), acknowledge what happened and allow yourself to make peace with your memories. Recognize that it’s okay to feel what you feel.

No matter what you’ve been through, you are here today – enduring. Instead of trying to banish the painful memories – honor your enduring self and your unremitting resilience.

XO ~Robyn

I have one opening for a new private Weight Loss Coaching client starting right away.

The Chickadee Weight Loss approach offers proven-effective methods based in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) to help you fundamentally change the way you think about food, so that you can successfully lose the weight and live a happy and fulfilling life.

I work with determined + smart + courageous women who are ready to get off the diet rollercoaster – for good.

To learn more about private Weight Loss Coaching, click here to schedule a free Discovery Session or email me directly at robyn@chickadeeweightloss.com.

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Change Your Facebook Feed, Love Your Body

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In her best selling book, The Magic Art of Tidying Up, author Marie Kondo writes…

The best way to choose what to keep and what to throw away is to take each item in one’s hand and ask: “Does this spark joy?” If it does, keep it. If not, dispose of it.

Consider the amount of time you spend on social media (or watching TV).

Are you “consuming” images + posts + shows + articles that spark joy and make you feel good about yourself and the world?

A few months ago, I set out on an adventure – to create a Facebook feed that made me feel great about myself. And I succeeded.

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When we’re bombarded with size 4 bodies and photo-shopped images all day, every day – our brains recognize these images as “normal” and anything else as – not normal.

That said – less than 5% of the population fits in this “ideal body” category. So these bodies are not the norm – in fact, they’re quite rare. But seeing them over and over and over – messes with our heads.

  • I don’t look like that.
  • I’m not pretty.
  • I’m not acceptable.
  • I should skip lunch today.

In her brilliant book, Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls, Jes Baker references a 2012 study on body image…

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“The 2012 study noted that there seemed to be a discrepancy on what type of body Western culture prefers as compared to other parts of the word, a discrepancy that wasn’t necessarily attributed to, ”biological attraction.”

Could it POSSIBLY be because we’re force-fed one example of the perfect woman? Well, YEAH. So what happens when we change the body that is shown repeatedly? NPR reported on the study:

Changing negative attitudes about body size might be as simple as changing what you see. When women in England were shown photos of plus-sized women in neutral gray leotards, they became more tolerant…

“Showing them thin bodies makes them like thin bodies more, and showing them fat bodies makes them like fat bodies more,” says Lynda Boothroyd, a psychology researcher at Durham University in England, who led the study.

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Bottom line – we can diversify our media + retrain our minds + feel better about our bodies as a result.

The more “real” bodies we see, the more accepting we become. Total no brainer!

As you scroll through your Facebook (or Tumblr or Instagram) feed, ask – does this spark joy? If not, get rid of it – and replace with something that makes you feel good.

Because it’s SO MUCH easier to embrace a healthier lifestyle when you feel good about yourself. 

Don’t know where to start? I’ve got you covered…

And of course…

Also – there’s an easy “trick” to make sure the pages you really want to see show up first on your Facebook feed.

  1. Hover over the “liked” button…

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  1. Click on, “posts in news feed,” and select, “see first.” 

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Voila!

XO ~Robyn

PS: Yes, I’m a Health Coach, but first and foremost my mission is to help women of ALL shapes and sizes learn to love and accept their bodies. As an eating disorder survivor and someone who used to hate her body (even when it was very thin), I cannot emphasize the importance of spreading messages of body acceptance and body positivity enough.

You can help create change by liking + sharing + posting body positive images and articles. So much more to come on this topic. Stay tuned!

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I’m currently accepting new clients! Weight Loss Coaching is not another fad diet or get thin quick scheme. It’s a pathway to sanity around food, a healthier you – and a more delicious life. No calorie counting required.

I work with determined + smart + courageous women who are ready to get off the diet rollercoaster – for good.

To learn more about private Weight Loss Coaching, click here to schedule a free Discovery Session or email me directly at robyn@chickadeeweightloss.com.

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10 Things…

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Body shaming + deprivation diets + punishing cardio workouts NEVER result in long-term success.

I promise you.

In my coaching practice, women come to me from all over the map and they always have at least one thing in common – a deep desire to get out of suffering.

This desire comes from a place of love.

I know that our past behaviors don’t always feel like love. But so many of us keep trying because we love ourselves enough to want to end the suffering. We believe – deep down – that there’s a pathway to health that isn’t quite so cruel and punishing.

But those slick weight loss ads and boot camp before and after photos keep sucking us back into a vicious cycle of repeating the same old…

…punish + give up + feel shame + start over.

Healing does not take place when you’re being mean.

One of the exercises I do with my coaching clients is to have them come up with a list of at least 10 things they like about themselves. 

And for most of my clients, this is hard to do – like hard x 5000.

When I tried this exercise myself for the first time, I got stuck at #6. And my brain went straight to…

…seriously Robyn, you can’t come up with 10 things you like about yourself. You’re a horrible person. A failure. A loser.

That inner critic showed up super fast.

I kept going and eventually came up with 10. But I had to dig deep.

What we like about ourselves is usually buried under piles + piles of stuff we don’t like.

Now here’s what was SO VERY fascinating about this exercise – not a single item on my list had to do with the appearance of my body.

Nada.

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Go and create your own list. And when the committee in your head starts telling you that you’re not good enough or thin enough or you could use a little botox – read your list.

Because you are so much more than a number on a scale. 

Here’s my list. I’d love love LOVE to see yours Chickadee. Email it to me or post it on Facebook.

  1. I’m sensitive to other people’s feelings
  2. I’m resilient
  3. I’m a good cook
  4. I love to travel + experience new things
  5. I’m optimistic
  6. I’m curious about the world + love learning
  7. I’m quick to forgive
  8. I have a deep appreciation for nature
  9. I never give up on people – ever
  10. I’ve finally learned to embrace my imperfections

XO ~Robyn

I’m currently accepting new clients! Weight Loss Coaching is not another fad diet or get thin quick scheme. It’s a pathway to sanity around food, a healthier you – and a more delicious life. No calorie counting required.

I work with determined + smart + courageous women who are ready to get off the diet rollercoaster – for good.

To learn more about private Weight Loss Coaching, click here to schedule a free Discovery Session or email me directly at robyn@chickadeeweightloss.com.

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Why I’m Totally Over Losing the Last Few Pounds…

I’m a bit embarrassed to admit it – but for the last 4 years or so, I’ve been telling myself that I should lose a few pounds.

Let’s start with the facts…

  • I’m just shy of 5’6”
  • At my highest weight, I was 195 pounds
  • At my lowest (as an adult), I weighed 124 pounds (for like 30 seconds)
  • I currently weigh between 135 and 138 – and my weight has been consistently in this range for the last 5 years
  • I’m muscular and stocky with strong German thighs
  • I’m pretty damn fit for a 41 year old chick

At my lowest weight – when everyone was telling me I looked ah-maaazing and my size 6 pants were starting to feel a little loose, I was struggling with what was eventually diagnosed as microscopic colitis – a rare side effect of a medication I was taking at the time.

New flash! It’s pretty easy to maintain a lower weight when you’re afraid to eat and constantly dehydrated.

Once I went off the medication, my weight quickly jumped back up to 135. But the committee in my head kept saying – if you could only get back to 125 – then you’d be able to fit back into your size 6 jeans and look the way society says you’re supposed to look.

Guess what? I’m done. Finished. Over it. Mic drop! I officially declare that 135 – 138 is my healthy natural weight range.

Here’s the truth friends – when I hit my “ultimate goal weight,” I was satisfied for maybe 5 minutes before I started wanting to be just a little bit leaner. The party lasts for a very short period of time and we go straight back to wanting more.

We can continue to pursue this never ending quest for “perfection” or we can say – enough is enough!

 At my healthy natural weight…

  • I can go out for beers on a Friday night with my husband and friends
  • I don’t have to track calories or points or eliminate every gram of sugar
  • I can enjoy chocolate and the occasional pizza night
  • I don’t have to hit the gym 6 or 7 days a week
  • I am healthy and happy and fit and SO much more fun to be around
  • My quality of life is better – like 1000x better than when I’m obsessing over everysinglething I eat + drink
  • I never EVER have to transform cauliflower into “rice” or pizza “dough” again

To get back to 125 and stay there I’d have to eliminate most of my favorite indulgences. Goodbye chocolate + tacos + brunch with my husband.

I’d have to say no thank you when my hubby bakes fresh bread – which he loves to do on occasion.

I’d have to embrace a fairly restrictive diet – like the don’t eat anything until noon nonsense that’s all the rage right now. The one where people drink coffee all morning to keep the hunger pangs away.

I like coffee and all – but eff that!

I’d have to track my calories and make sure I don’t exceed ~1200/day. And me + myfitnesspal broke up looong ago.

I’d have to workout to burn calories instead of going to the gym because it makes me feel strong + badass + energetic.

I don’t have enough fingers and toes to count the number of women (and men) I know who want to lose, “just a few more pounds.”

We all have a set point – a place where our body naturally resides when we’re feeding it and moving it in a way that is healthy and sustainable.

For me it’s 135ish. For you it might be 175. For someone else – who won the genetic lottery – maybe 120.

My size 6 jeans are currently in a bag ready to go to Goodwill. Sweet freedom!

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I encourage you to put down the the magazines and skinny jeans and trust your own wisdom when it comes to determining what healthy looks like for you.

Because, “just a few more pounds,” can easily turn into an endless spin cycle of suffering, self-hate, fad diets, disordered eating – or all of the above.

Consider what might happen if you put all of that energy into loving others and enjoying life?

And with that, I’m heading out to meet some friends for a Guinness.

Cheers!​

Robyn

I’m currently accepting new Weight Loss Coaching clients! Weight Loss Coaching is not another fad diet or get thin quick scheme. It’s a pathway to sanity around food, a healthier you – and a more delicious life. No calorie counting required.

I work with determined + smart + courageous women who are ready to get off the diet rollercoaster – for good. To learn more about private Weight Loss Coaching, click here to schedule a free Discovery Session or email me directly at robyn@chickadeeweightloss.com