Robyn Spurr

Personal Health and Weight Loss Coaching For Women

Self Acceptance

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Is “I’m Fat” In Charge of Your Life?

Thoughts swirl around in our minds all day long. And not all of them are rose colored.

I started keeping track of my non-rosy thoughts this morning (knowing that I would be writing this post)…

  • My hair is a mess.
  • I should have worded that email differently.
  • She’s so much fitter than I am.
  • I should get up earlier.

…and it’s only 10:00.

It’s normal to have a wide variety of thoughts. What a relief, right?

The key to creating desirable outcomes has nothing to do with eliminating all of our negative thoughts + feelings. That’s im-fricken-possible! It’s about being able to step back and witness our unproductive thoughts + emotions without letting them run the show.

When you can see the thought + not judge it + not buy into it, then you get to choose how to act – instead of flying on autopilot.

Let’s use, “I’m fat,” as an example.

So many of my clients let these two little words drive their behavior. When your mind starts playing the, “I’m fat,” recording – notice how you act.

Does the thought help you be the person you want to be?

Does it help you do the things you want to do?

My guess is N-O no.

Most of my clients truly want to treat their bodies with care and respect. They want to exercise and make healthy choices. They value self-care.

Now imagine if I could wave my magic wand and just like that, “I’m fat,” no longer had any power over you. Imagine if it didn’t cause you to feel bad or not good enough.

Let that really sink in for a moment. I’m fat = totally unaffected. Did that blow your mind?

How might your life be different if you didn’t have to carry the burden of your thoughts with you?

When we get all tangled up in our story…

  • I’m fat.
  • I have no willpower.
  • I’ll never be healthy.
  • I don’t have the discipline it takes.
  • I’m a failure.

…it doesn’t help us live our values.

Instead we usually avoid socializing + feel bad about ourselves + plan our next restrictive and cruel diet while binge watching the Netflix show du jour and eating Doritos.

Why do we do this? Our beliefs drive our behavior via the feelings they create. And I’m fat usually creates feelings of shame + insecurity + self loathing.

It doesn’t matter if the thoughts are true or false. The question to ask is,

Does it help me to hang on to this thought?

There’s a simple way to lessen the impact of these thoughts.

When you notice the thought, don’t challenge it or dispute it. Don’t try to push it away or replace it with something positive. Simply replay the words with, “I’m having the thought that,” in front of them.

I’m having the thought that I’m fat.

I’m having the thought that people think I’m lazy.

I’m having the thought that I don’t have what it takes.

See the thought for what it is – a thought. Then ask yourself…

If I let these thoughts guide what I do, does it help me be the person I want to be?

​XO ~Robyn

I’m all booked up for private Weight Loss Coaching through the end of 2015! If you want to work with me in January, don’t wait to reach out. Contact me now to get on the waitlist.

Simply click here to schedule a free Discovery Session or email me directly at robyn@chickadeeweightloss.com. Let’s chat and see if we’re a good fit.

I work with fun + smart + courageous women who want a healthier body and a more delicious life! No calorie counting or elimination of food groups required.

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Top Non-Diet Weight Loss Strategies – The Self Compassion “Diet”

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See if this resonates with you…

Go on a diet – feel a crappy feeling – overeat to numb/distract/escape feeling – beat self up for overeating and for feeling “bad” – feel worse – give up on diet (screw it!) – eat mindlessly – gain weight – beat self up for gaining weight – go on another restrictive/punishing diet…

You guys, I see this ALL THE TIME.

The more we beat ourselves up, the more we want to check out and give up so we can escape the beatings + self-criticism. Then, one day we start right back up where we left off – with another restrictive + self-punishing diet.

The way to reach your goals is through self-compassion and forgiveness (not, I repeat NOT self-criticism).

Try these instead…

  • Listen to your body
  • Eat when you’re hungry + stop when you’re satisfied
  • Stop telling yourself you’re supposed to feel happy all the time
  • Honor ALL of your emotions
  • Celebrate the small wins
  • When you mess up, forgive and move on.

If there is one I’ve learned via my own weight loss journey and by coaching other women, it’s that beating ourselves up never leads to a positive result. Healthy is a place you get to with love.

​Here’s an excerpt from a recent Scientific American article (Why Diets Don’t Work and What Does).

“In a 2014 study, women with eating disorders, including some who binged or who were overweight, received compassion-focused therapy—an approach aimed at reducing feelings of shame and improving self-esteem. Over the 12-week treatment, women who exhibited greater improvements in self-compassion and reductions in body shame were also more likely to develop better eating habits.​”

Now you might be wondering, where do I start? How do I begin to practice self-compassion?

One of the simplest ways is to start tracking daily evidence for success. Write down one thing you do well each day. One way you took care of YOU. One action that is moving you closer to your goals for yourself. Nothing is too small.

Even if you screwed up 357 other things, write down that one small victory.

Train your mind to look for the good.

Another pathway to self-compassion is knowing that you’re not alone.

Look, we’re all kind of messed up and stumbling through this thing called life. If someone tells you they have it all figured out, they’re lying! Liar liar pants on fire!

A client of mine sent me this TED Talk last week (Glennon Doyle Melton: Lessons From the Mental Hospital).

It blew my mind. Raw + powerful + brilliant! I am currently soaking up everysinglething Glennon has written. You might say I’m obsessed. Guilty as charged.

After you watch the TED Talk, check out her blog.

Then go and get her book. Read it once, then read it again – then give it to a good friend. Seriously, it’s THAT good…

“Here’s my hunch: nobody’s secure, and nobody feels like she completely belongs. Those insecurities are just job hazards of being human. But some people dance anyway, and those people have more fun.” ​~ Glennon Doyle Melton, Carry On, Warrior: Thoughts on Life Unarmed

​Dance on Chickadees!

XO ~Robyn

PS: I’ve got openings for private Weight Loss Coaching coming up in EARLY September. Just around the corner. If you’re ready to lose the weight for good + create a more delicious life + practice self-compassion, then let’s chat Chickadee! 

 Click here to schedule a Discovery Session or email me directly at robyn@chickadeeweightloss.com.

 I’d love to work with you. Let’s make it happen.

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Accepting Your Body Isn’t Easy (and that’s okay)

acceptingyourbodyisnteasy

The body acceptance movement has kicked it into high gear lately. Lane Bryant’s, I’m No Angel campaign is currently buzzing + trending + telling us that…

…sexy comes in all shapes and sizes.

So we look at ourselves in the mirror – trying to conjure up love + acceptance + sexiness.

And when we can’t – we feel like shit.

Guess what? Accepting your body is hard. Really freaking hard.

We’ve been bombarded with images of what an ideal body is supposed to look like our whole lives.

Even the I’m No Angel models are suspiciously cellulite, stretch mark and imperfection free.

lanebryant_0 2

Nice try Lane Bryant.

Listen, I’m never going to look like Sofia Vergara – and neither are you.

But that doesn’t mean we have to feel like crap day after day or give up on ourselves. We just have to let go of this idea of perfection – and take care of ourselves anyway.

Wear the gorgeous sleeveless dress – even though your arms are flabby.

Show up for the Zumba class NOW – not 50 pounds from now.

Meringue those curves like a boss!

You’ll never be perfect.

If you keep waiting for that day to come, you’ll spend your whole life waiting and wishing and wanting.

Not loving what you see in the mirror?

Screw it!

Go and rock out your life anyway.

XO ~Robyn

I’m currently all booked up, but will be taking new Weight Loss Coaching clients in early June. To find out more about how to work with me one-on-one, please hit reply or email me directly at robyn@chickadeeweightloss.com.

I’d love to work with you. Let’s make it happen.

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You’re Doing the Best You Can

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“You are imperfect, permanently and inevitably flawed. And you are beautiful.”

~Amy Bloom

I want to make the case that you are doing your best right now.

Yes, you.

We tend to forget this truth.

If you’re thinking – no, I could be doing better.

If I could just stop turning to food when I’m bored.

If I could just stop eating when I’m comfortably full.

If I could just make healthier choices.

In the real world, there are no “ifs” – there is only what is.

These “ifs” require time and practice. If it could be better, then it would be.

Could you be a better parent, driver, cook — right now?

No.

You are always doing you best. Even if your best sucks in comparison to what you hoped for or planned for or what’s expected of you.

So you’re not there yet – it’s okay. Keep going. Don’t ever give up on yourself. With time and practice and knowledge – you’ll get better. But for right now, know that you’re doing the best you can.

XO ~Robyn

I’m currently booked up, but will be taking new clients starting in mid-March. To find out more about how to work with me one-on-one and to schedule a Discovery Session, click here or email me directly at robyn@chickadeeweightloss.com.

I’d love to work with you. Let’s make it happen.