“Lack of forgiveness causes almost all of our self-sabotaging behavior.” ~Mark Victor Hansen Everyone struggles with self-criticism. EVERYONE. Isn’t that a relief? I’m a failure. I’m a bad person. I’m so messed up. I’m a bitch. I can’t get it together. I’m too sensitive. I screwed up - BIG time. Something is wrong with me. The human experience is difficult for everyone. Life isn't meant to be goldendoodle puppies and fairy dust 100% of the time. But when things go wrong in our own lives, we tend to slip into isolation. We tend to falsely believe we're alone in our suffering. Self-criticism feels crappy - but there is nothing more painful than feeling cut off and isolated. Everyone else is living a normal happy life. Everyone … [Read more...] about Practicing Self-Compassion
Self Acceptance
Why Can’t I Say No?
“A NO uttered from the deepest conviction is better than a YES merely uttered to please, or worse, to avoid trouble.” ~Mahatma Gandhi Even though I've lived in Colorado since 1998, I'm still a Jersey Girl at heart. So I'm gonna give it to you straight. The reason you keep saying yes, when you really want to say no is because you want other people to like and approve of you. And the reason you want their approval is because you're not practicing approval of yourself. No matter how much outside approval you get, you'll never be satisfied. I promise. Only you can make you happy. You can decide, right now - to stop waiting for other people to give you the love and affection you should be giving to yourself. Try this. Write down five … [Read more...] about Why Can’t I Say No?
Showing Up for Yourself
You were given this life because you're strong enough to live it. The only thing keeping you from living the life you desire is self-doubt. Self-doubt is a dream killer. The way you talk to yourself is everything. Your brain is like a big muscle. The more time you spend training it, the stronger it gets. Tell it what you want it to think. Notice the self talk that isn't serving you and replace it with thoughts you like. Practice the new thoughts - over and over and over. Until they crowd out the hate and the doubt. You always have a choice. Why not choose love and acceptance and kindness? You can start today. But first - ask yourself if you want to change - for you. You have to want health and happiness so much, that you’re willing to … [Read more...] about Showing Up for Yourself
Wanting vs Choosing (why it matters)
want [wont, wawnt] verb (used with object) to feel a need or a desire for; wish for choose [chooz] verb decide on a course of action It was downright delightful here in Denver over the weekend – which meant I spent as much time as possible soaking up the late October sunshine - and as little time as possible on housework and errands. The laundry room can wait. The weather provided a perfect reason to not only set aside my to-do list, but to FINALLY finish the brilliant book, How Children Succeed by Paul Tough (highly recommend). After reading the last word, I went back to a page I had dog-eared about what it takes to become a chess champion. Stay with me here - there's a point. “When it comes to ambition, it is crucial to … [Read more...] about Wanting vs Choosing (why it matters)