It’s entirely NORMAL to experience negative body image days. It’s NORMAL to not love what you see in the mirror or in a photo sometimes.
Welcome to the club my friend.
But you don’t have to stay stuck in that place. You don’t have to layer feelings of guilt and shame about feeling bad on top of ALREADY feeling crummy.
Today I’m sharing a process to help you unwind a negative body image spiral – so you can get on with living your amazing life.
Because the world needs you.
This process is based on the work of many brilliant minds in this area.
If you practice consistently, it will become easier to flow through and come out the other side more quickly.
Which reminds me – you WILL feel bad again. It’s okay. Attaining some kind of permanent body love nirvana is like thinking life can be sunshine and rainbow unicorns 24/7.
It’s not realistic. Not in a culture that puts SO MUCH emphasis on how we look.
But fewer episodes of negative body thoughts and moving through them with grace and compassion are within reach.
So how do you do it?
#1 Practice Grace
When your mind is spiraling – and the guilt and shame and sadness and disappointment are welling up – practice being kind and compassionate with yourself.
It’s okay.
It’s normal.
Nothing has gone wrong.
Please don’t beat yourself up for feeling bad about your body. It’s not realistic to love your body all the time.
Piling even MORE difficult emotions on top of what you’re already feeling simply fuels the fire – and keeps us stuck and spinning and disempowered.
#2 Get Centered
Remember: this is not an emergency. Even though it FEELS like an emergency. I get it. I’ve been there. I was JUST there. Today. In yoga class.
Freaking out leads to one place – a desire to FIX IT NOW! And fixing it now usually looks like ANOTHER restrictive diet. Or not eating for the rest of the day. Or getting on the treadmill for 2 hours. Or googling lose 20 pounds in 7 days.
Please don’t.
Truth bomb: the ONLY thing that changed is your mindset. Before the triggering event, you were OKAY. You are still OKAY.
- You saw a picture from your family vacation
- You looked in the mirror
- Someone tagged you on Facebook
- A friend lost 20 pounds
- You put on a pair of jeans
- You compared yourself to someone else
The triggering event caused a mindset shift – and we can manage our mindset right here, right now.
#3 Understand
When we understand how we got to this place. When we recognize what’s making us feel like our body is a problem (which it is NOT) – it becomes easier to work through it.
Begin by naming the emotion(s) you’re feeling.
I feel…
- Unattractive
- Not good enough
- Unworthy
- Ugly
- Embarrassed
- Sad
- Angry
Naming our emotions helps us process them.
As children, we’re often told to calm down, to suck it up, to be strong, to get over it. As a result, when we experience difficult emotions we tend to resist them. We push them down. We feel shame for feeling bad.
Your emotions have value. All of them. And they can teach you powerful lessons.
Keep digging.
Why do you feel this way? What led to this? Is there a pattern? Does this frequently occur when you’re with a certain person – or in a certain situation?
If we can identify a pattern, we can prepare ourselves ahead of time.
Hmm, when I’m around my sisters, I often have a negative body image flare up.
Good to know.
Now – ask yourself what you really need in this moment.
What you don’t need is an hour devoted to researching the latest fad diets or looking at pictures of yourself when you weighed less.
We’ve all done this, right? I know I have. And it feels TERRIBLE.
What do you really need?
- A hug?
- To go for a walk and clear your head?
- A funny podcast?
- Reassuring words from a trusted friend or partner?
- To get your hands dirty in your garden?
Give yourself what you REALLY need.
#4 Unwind Your Mind
When we’re in a negative space, shifting to feeling positive about our bodies is challenging. Consider aiming for neutrality (or simply feeling a little better).
Find a personal mantra that resonates with you. One that feels true.
What do you need to hear? What would a wise + supportive friend say to you?
Some ideas…
I don’t need to fix this.
This is not an emergency.
My body is an instrument, not an ornament.
I’m not supposed to look like anyone else.
#5 Gratitude
Try practicing a little gratitude for what your body can DO.
Function over form.
Thank you for the gift of being able to hike (or do yoga or pet the dog or watch the sunset or laugh).
Thank you for the ability to hug the people I love.
Thank you for the ability to smell this lavender candle (or the rain in the air or the blissful scent of petunias).
Thank you for allowing me to savor this delicious latte.
Thank you for the ability to explore new and exciting places.
Each time you practice these steps it will become easier to pull yourself out of the spiral. It will become easier to recognize when it’s happening. It will become easier to be kind + compassionate with yourself.
Your body is more than an ornament to decorate this world.
Your body is an instrument.
An instrument of power and badassery and magic.
And the world needs your magic.
More than ever.
XO ~Robyn
Interested in a one-on-one coaching relationship with me? It would be an honor to work with you if and when the time feels right.
To learn more about Personal Health Coaching click HERE.
To schedule a Discovery Session click HERE.
