“A NO uttered from the deepest conviction is better than a YES merely uttered to please, or worse, to avoid trouble.” ~Mahatma Gandhi
Even though I’ve lived in Colorado since 1998, I’m still a Jersey Girl at heart. So I’m gonna give it to you straight.
The reason you keep saying yes, when you really want to say no is because you want other people to like and approve of you.
And the reason you want their approval is because you’re not practicing approval of yourself.
No matter how much outside approval you get, you’ll never be satisfied. I promise.
Only you can make you happy.
You can decide, right now – to stop waiting for other people to give you the love and affection you should be giving to yourself.
Try this. Write down five things you like about yourself. Don’t stop until you have at least five.
Good.
The next time you catch yourself being a bully – look at your “things I like about me” list. Continue to add to it over time.
What you choose to tell yourself is up to you. Practice thoughts that produce the feelings you desire. In other words…
Think deliberately.
Truth is, some people aren’t going to like you, no matter what you do – that’s a fact – and it’s okay. Not everyone likes strawberry ice cream. But we don’t blame strawberry ice cream, right? There’s nothing WRONG with strawberry ice cream. It’s just not everyone’s favorite flavor.
So what – some people like chocolate chip and you’re strawberry. That doesn’t mean you try to become chocolate chip just to please them. Why not commit to being the most amazing strawberry ice cream you can be?
Whether someone likes you or not has nothing to do with you. It’s out of your control.
Imagine if you decided – this very minute – to show up in the world as your authentic self. As a person who says no when they really want to say no. You would attract people who like you for you – not the people pleasing version of you.
If you continue to do stuff just to get approval from others, you’re going to continue to do a whole bunch of stuff you don’t really want to do. Which leads to resentment + anger.
: Bake 48 cupcakes for the PTA fundraiser
: Eat 3 different desserts to please Aunt Edith
: Drive your neighbor to the airport at 4:45 am
: Join ANOTHER committee
Saying no when you really want to say no is an act of self-love.
And you are worthy of your own love and affection.
Need help saying no (with grace and kindness)? Check out this post by the fabulous Alex Franzen – “5 Steps to Scripting a Perfect No.”
XO ~Robyn
If you’re ready to say YES to a healthier + happier you, then let’s chat. I’ll be taking on a few new private weight loss coaching clients in January.
Learn more by signing up for a Discovery Session. Discovery Sessions are FREE – no strings. If you’ve been on the fence – now’s the time Chickadee!