Imagine it’s your first day of Kindergarten. You’re nervous and excited and curious and bouncing with energy.
Throughout the day, your teacher cheers you on and praises what you do well…
- What a beautiful picture.
- Thank you for putting the crayons away.
- What excellent manners you have.
You’re beaming.
On the second day of school, you enthusiastically race through the doors.
Now imagine, if on that first day, your teacher cruelly pointed out everything you did WRONG…
- You’re not very good at coloring are you? That’s terrible.
- Why can’t you spell your name? What’s wrong with you? Are you stupid?
- You’re not as pretty as the other girls in this class.
It’s an extreme (and improbable) example, but imagine how you would feel at the end of the day.
Would you be excited to learn and grow and improve and return on the second day? Of course not.
Yet most of us speak to ourselves like the cruel teacher (day in and day out) and wonder why we feel stuck and unmotivated.
I’ve been studying the work of B.J. Fogg recently – a Behavior Scientist and Director of the Stanford Behavior Design Lab.
The guy knows what he’s talking about when it comes to behavior change.
Here’s what he has to say (in a nutshell)…
Emotions help us engrave + deepen our behaviors. If you want a behavior to stick, celebrate it as you’re doing it – and immediately after.
It’s VERY important to celebrate your little wins, no matter how small they are.
For most of us, it’s easy to criticize ourselves and difficult to praise ourselves.
But in order for our brains to learn new behaviors, we NEED praise + celebration + recognition + positive feedback. WE NEED TO FEEL GOOD.
Always look for ways you can celebrate your new behaviors IMMEDIATELY.
Even if it’s…
Hey, I didn’t screw it up TOO badly.
Celebration + compassion + congratulations on every small victory, no matter how tiny, works WAY better than criticism!
Just ask ANY teacher.
And if you don’t believe me, try an experiment…
High-five yourself joyfully and lovingly for a few days for every miniscule achievement. Even silly stuff like, “I washed my face today,” and notice how you feel compared to when you criticize the crap out of yourself for every “failure” or “mistake”.
Be a KIND teacher to yourself – and see what happens.
XO ~Robyn
Interested in a one-on-one coaching relationship with me? It would be an honor to work with you if and when the time feels right.
To learn more about Personal Health Coaching click HERE.
To schedule a Discovery Session click HERE.