You’ve probably heard the story of the frog in boiling water. It’s a powerful metaphor for how gradual change can go unnoticed until it’s too late to react. If a frog is placed directly in boiling water, it will immediately try to jump out. However, if the frog is placed in lukewarm water that is slowly heated, it won’t perceive the danger and will eventually be boiled alive. This metaphor highlights how people can become complacent or unaware of slow, harmful changes in their environment, habits, or lives until the consequences become too severe to ignore.
Even after almost 15 years as a coach, I’m still surprised by how easily unhelpful habits can creep in. It often happens gradually, until one day – wham! – you realize you’re stuck, wondering how you got there.
For me, it happened somewhere amidst a series of life-altering events: losing my Dad, living through a global pandemic, being a caretaker for my Mom during the pandemic, and eventually losing her as well. I also moved away from the city I had called home for 24 years. Along the way, I noticed that I was drinking more than was healthy for me. It was a gradual change that caught me off guard, much like the frog in boiling water.
Turning Things Around in 2024
In 2024, I made a commitment to right the ship. I’ve learned a lot during this process, including that non-alcoholic wine can be a delicious alternative when you want to feel social but stay healthy. My current favorite is a Riesling from esteemed German winemaker Johannes Leitz — perfect for those moments when you want to raise a glass but stay on track with your goals.
Handling Social Situations Where Alcohol Is Present
Navigating social settings where alcohol is part of the experience can feel tricky, especially when you’re trying to stick to your personal goals. But with a little preparation, you can enjoy yourself without feeling pressured to drink. Here are some strategies I’ve found helpful for politely declining alcohol while staying social:
- Express Appreciation
When someone offers you a drink, start by acknowledging their gesture. A simple, “Thank you for offering, I really appreciate it,” sets a positive tone for the interaction and makes it clear that you’re not dismissing their kindness. - Be Direct and Clear
There’s nothing wrong with a firm but polite “no.” Saying something like, “I’m keeping track of how much I drink tonight, so I’ll pass for now, but thank you,” communicates your decision confidently while still showing gratitude. - Offer a Reason (If You’re Comfortable)
If you feel comfortable, offering a reason can help take the pressure off. A simple, “I have an early start tomorrow,” or, “I’m pacing myself tonight,” often helps. It’s your choice whether or not you want to explain, but most people will respect even the briefest reason. - Keep a Hand Over Your Glass
Sometimes, actions speak louder than words. Casually covering your glass with your hand can send a clear, non-verbal message that you’re not looking for a refill. - Change the Subject
After declining a drink, smoothly changing the conversation can help steer attention away from the topic. This helps keep things flowing without lingering on the fact that you turned down alcohol.
Take Control of Your Choices
Remember: you’re in control of what you consume, and it’s completely okay to say no to more alcohol. You don’t owe anyone an explanation. Most people will respect your decision without pressuring you further.
Staying confident in your choices and being prepared for these moments will make social situations easier to navigate. At the end of the day, your health and well-being are the most important things — and you deserve to protect them.
💙 Robyn
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