While waiting for my nails to dry at the salon today, a little girl, maybe 4 or 5 and her Mom walked in. Mom was scheduled for a manicure and the little girl was having her toenails painted.
Mom asked her to pick out a color and the little girl chose a bright taxicab yellow. Mom said no, choose another one and suggested pink. The little girl picked up another yellow polish and asked, this one? Mom said no again and suggested yet another pink polish. I’m not sure what the outcome was. My nails were dry and I decide to leave.
My heart broke for that little girl. Her desire for yellow nails got me thinking.
So many women (and men) worry constantly about being judged. We conform in order to fit in. We do things we don’t want to do. We dress in clothes deemed acceptable and appropriate by others. We often choose a life of lies over an authentic one.
I admire Lady Gaga for this exact reason. If you haven’t seen her recent interview with Oprah, you should. Lady Gaga is one remarkable chick and so is her mother Cynthia.
I’ve done quite a bit of self coaching around this topic. Some folks consider me unconventional.
I moved across the country, married outside of my faith and have no children. I’ve voluntarily changed careers over and over, until finding one that filled my heart and soul with joy. I’ve sported nearly every hair color, including blonde with purple highlights just a few months back.
My best friend Cindy is nearly 60 years old (I’m 37). My other dear friend is a 70 year old ex-Wall Street trader who currently resides in Taos, New Mexico (the place I intend to call home one day). Terry, or Doc as he is affectionately known to most, is living life by his own damn rules. And having a blast!
And this is my crazy, bright dining room.
Choosing to live an authentic life has brought me so much happiness. I admit that I still struggle from time to time. It’s so much easier to conform.
Fear, conformity, immorality: these are heavy burdens. They drain us of creative energy. And when we are drained of creative energy, we do not create. We procreate, but we do not create. ~David McCallum
I love Chris Guillebeau’s blog, The Art of Non-Conformity.
This is Chris’s philosophy, which I’ve come to adopt as my own:
1. You don’t have to live your life the way other people expect you to.
2. You can do good things for yourself and help other people at the same time.
3. If you don’t decide for yourself what you want to get out of life, someone else will probably end up deciding for you.
4. There is usually more than one way to accomplish something.
Take a moment and ask yourself the following. Are you being true to yourself? And if not, ask yourself why that is?