Pull up a chair + grab a pen and paper – you’re about to be introduced to the world’s greatest mind ninja life altering awesome-ness.
The model is designed to help you change the thoughts that are causing you to suffer. This process isn’t about repeating inconceivable mantras (I am perfection) or escaping raw pain (a friend or family members death, losing a job). It’s about deliberately choosing thoughts that feels better and are believable to you. Occasionally we can make big leaps using the model (e.g. stuck to motivated), but many times we simply take a small steps in a more positive direction (e.g. devastated to disappointed).
This tool can be used to create an entirely new belief system and to replace outdated programming from your childhood and your past.
If you use this model, you will become aware of your thoughts. You will become more conscious. You will become more awakened. You will discover the cause behind your negative emotions. You will have a way to feel better.
Let’s dive in, shall we?
Circumstances (things that happen in the world that we can’t control) trigger our…
Thoughts (sentences in our minds), cause…
Feelings (vibrations in our bodies caused by our thoughts), motivate our…
Actions (behaviors, what we do in the world) bring about…
Results (the effect of our actions)
Negative Thinking Leads to Negative Results
After feeling a little stuck lately, I decided it was time for some self-coaching.
Current Model
Circumstance (the facts) – I have a body, a job, a life
Thought – Good enough
Feeling – unmotivated, resignation
Action – Continue to do the same thing
Result – No growth in my life, same level of fitness, business is stagnant, slight dissatisfaction
New Model
Thought – Just a little more (love, effort, awareness, attention, pushing out of my comfort zone)
Feeling – resolve, purpose, motivation
Action – step up workouts, look at ways to improve/grow business, more attention on nutrition
Result – Take life/work/relationships to the next level, stronger, more confident
There is never a time when you are not responsible for how you feel. You might be faced with a circumstance or a person who you believe is causing your feelings, but you are always the one who decides how to feel. It is not what happens to you, it is what you believe about what happens to you that causes your feelings.
Another example from one of my clients…
Current Model
Circumstance (fact) – my body in the mirror
Thought (sentence in your mind) – I hate my body
Feeling (one word emotions) – disgust, disconnection, shame
Action (what you do) – squeeze into clothes that are too tight because I refuse to buy a bigger size, mentally beat myself up, go and eat a bunch of cookies
Result (outcome) – continue to gain weight, feel uncomfortable in my clothes, emotional pain/suffering
New Model
Circumstance (fact) – my body in the mirror
Thought – This is my body
Feeling – awareness, neutral
Action – find clothes that fit and flatter my current body, keep working towards my goals
Result – clothes I feel good in, less emotional pain, wanting from a place that feels good (instead of wanting to escape the pain)
There are an unlimited number of examples. I can’t do anything right. My life is so stressful. I’ll always be fat. It’s not fair. She doesn’t respect me.
This post is a brief overview. If you want to dive in a little deeper, I highly suggest reading Self-Coaching 101. Then practice – and practice some more. Reading about a tool is lovely, but in order to change you have to DO the work.
Observe your thoughts with compassion and look at your life through a lens of curiosity and fascination, not judgement. We cannot always control the circumstances of our lives, but we can always choose how we think and feel about them. Choose wisely.