Robyn Spurr

Personal Health and Weight Loss Coaching For Women

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Disarming Discomfort

Let’s say you’re walking past a house on fire.

Do you run inside, on the off chance that someone might be in there?

Probably not. You know you’ll get burned. Instead, you call the fire department.

But let’s say you arrive at the house and realize your baby is inside.

You race inside the house, forgetting about your own discomfort, desperately searching for your child.

When you find your baby, grab her, and bring her outside, you’re probably suffering burns and smoke inhalation. Do you care much? Not in that moment.

You might not even feel the pain at all, your adrenaline is so high. All you care about is your child.

Notice how you’re willing to tolerate discomfort in the service of a higher purpose – saving your baby.

In fact, evolution has equipped us beautifully with systems (such as endorphins) that help us ignore pain when we are focused on survival or doing something more important.

The truth about discomfort…

  1. Discomfort is negotiable.
    What we feel will depend on our focus.
  2. We can deal with discomfort.
    If we act in the service of a bigger purpose, we can easily tolerate discomfort.
  3. Discomfort, in the right amount, makes us stronger.
    You just saved your baby from a fire. Now the rest of your life probably seems a lot easier.
  4. We already have everything we need to be able to tolerate discomfort.
    We just need to practice tapping in to our natural abilities.
  5. To change your experience of discomfort, find your bigger purpose and focus on it.
    Why do you want to lose weight? How will your life change for the better? Stay focused on that.

Obviously, being mildly hungry is a lot easier than getting burned. But you may find that eating less makes you uncomfortable in other ways.

For example…

  • It’s hard to “waste food”.
    We can hear our parents’ voices in our head: There are starving children! You shouldn’t leave food on the plate!
  • Food keeps us occupied.
    If we stay “busy” with food, then we don’t have to deal with other things.
  • Food numbs us.
    It’s a good painkiller for emotional and physical distress.
  • We confuse emotions with hunger.
    Often, we mix up emotions such as anxiety or anger with hunger. It feels like hunger… but it isn’t.
  • Habits.
    We do many things automatically, such as picking the last tidbit off the kids’ plates as we tidy up dinner, or popping a bite into our mouth as we cook.
  • We’re worried about social consequences.
    We don’t want to say no, make a fuss, or stand out as a “weirdo” at social events with friends and family.
  • Our environment.
    We’re there, and so is the food.

We naturally try to avoid all of these discomforts. So we make choices that don’t align with our big picture goals.

We eat because we’re bored, upset, stressed, or simply near tempting food.

But if we commit to pushing through the prickliness and itchiness of discomfort…

  • We’ll be more able to reach our goals.
  • We’ll feel more in control of ourselves and our actions.
  • We’ll feel stronger. More courageous. We just did that difficult thing.

Moving forward, whenever you get uncomfortable, remind yourself:

  • You have the power to get through this.
  • Most discomfort doesn’t last that long – and it’s not that intense.
  • Take a deep breath. Or three.
  • Learning to tolerate discomfort while staying cool + calm + present will ultimately make your life better in the long run.

You can even try ranking your discomfort on a scale from 1 to 10.

  • 1 is something like being just a teeny bit too warm.
  • 10 is the absolute most painful, horrible, excruciating thing you can imagine happening.

Whatever situation you confront today, rank it. See where it falls.

Then decide whether it’s a big deal or not.

XO ~Robyn

I work with women who want to learn how to create real + lasting health changes. We’ll use a sustainable, practice-based approach to build healthy habits into your life, one day at a time for an entire year.

As your coach, I’ll provide accountability + direction + support every step of the way. I’ll help you stay consistent, no matter what life throws at you.

If this approach resonates with you, CLICK HERE for details on how to work together.

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Is This Useful?

The human mind is uniquely brilliant. Our remarkable cognitive capacity has allowed us to develop cures for deadly diseases like smallpox and tuberculosis, build skyscrapers and land on the moon.

But we humans have a tendency to misuse this wondrous capability.

We imagine horrible outcomes that are unlikely to play out. We lie in bed at night and fixate on our to-do list or the stupid comment we made or the email we forgot to send. We overthink, we ruminate, we obsess, we worry.

In short, we create a whole bunch of unnecessary suffering.

Getting in the habit of asking a simple question, “Is this useful?” can help curb these behaviors.

Whether we’re worried about the wording of an email or over-thinking the consequences of taking the 1:42 pm flight vs the 6:20 pm flight, our thoughts can become compulsive and quite frankly, debilitating.

The work I do with clients is centered around creating healthier habits – and building new habits requires space and energy.

Learning to disrupt and diminish unproductive and energy sucking thought loops helps to free up the space needed to take purposeful action.

Asking ourselves “is this useful?” helps us move towards the next logical question: “what is useful?”

XO ~Robyn

I work with women who want to learn how to create real + lasting health changes. We’ll use a sustainable, practice-based approach to build healthy habits into your life, one day at a time for an entire year.

As your coach, I’ll provide accountability + direction + support every step of the way. I’ll help you stay consistent, no matter what life throws at you.

If this approach resonates with you, CLICK HERE for details on how to work together.

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Let Peace Bloom (Ending the Toxic Practice of Judgment)

In my previous post, I offered up a simple tool to disrupt your inner bully. If you haven’t tried it yet, I highly recommend you do. It’s the easiest way I’ve found to diminish self-shaming.

Unwinding years (and often decades) of bullying yourself may seem hard, but not changing a behavior that affects you in negative ways is hard too.

Making a deliberate choice to end the war with my body was one of the best gifts I ever gave to myself.

When you judge yourself or someone else, you’re not helping yourself or them in any beneficial way.

I grew up in a household where we spent a lot of time picking other people apart. The tradition continues to this day…

  • He walked around with his shirt off. I shouldn’t have to look at that!
  • Did you see how fat cousin blahblahblah got?
  • She needs to put down the cake and go to the gym.
  • Um, has she heard of Botox?

It’s no surprise I struggled with my own self-image for so long.

I’ve willingly participated in these conversations in the past. I’ve chosen to no longer do so.

Many of us believe bringing other people down will make us feel better. It doesn’t. When we remark about fat (or cellulite, etc.), we are teaching our daughters and sisters and friends that it’s entirely appropriate to make comments about women’s bodies. That it’s okay to evaluate and critique other women. That they will be evaluated and critiqued.

“If she feels that way about blahblahblah, then what must she be thinking about me?”

What most people hear when you talk about any body is their interpretation about what that might mean about their body.

What I didn’t realize until very recently, was that my judgment of others had nothing to do with them + their flaws. It had everything to do with me + my insecurities. I was projecting what was within me onto others. My own judgments + insecurities became judgments about them.

As you become aware of your “other-judgments” you will likely notice how frequently they show up. You’re not a bad person for having these thoughts. Most women do.

Today, I’m asking you to stop giving them a voice.

If you find yourself judging another woman’s body, look for the lesson instead. What might be happening with you? What might you be projecting about yourself onto this other person? Get curious.

Most often, what is happening when we are judging someone else is this…

We are reacting to something we don’t like about ourselves.

We can use our energy for self-shaming and judging (which accomplishes zero) – or for compassion and kindness.

So how do you stop giving voice to judgments? Disrupt the pattern.

Start with practicing peace around your own body for a minimum of two weeks – then, move on to other-judgments when you feel ready.

When you notice that you’re judging someone negatively, simply say to yourself, “I choose peace,” or “this doesn’t serve me or anyone.” Pick a phrase that resonates with you.

Practicing a pattern of thinking makes it stronger. Each time you disrupt your judgments, the pattern weakens a little.

Now you might be thinking, “oh that’s nice, but not me.”

Yes, you!

Women spend way too much time + energy bashing themselves and others. It’s an epidemic. It’s making us miserable. And it needs to stop.

Commit to one day. If it goes well, try two weeks.

Your energy is precious. Your power is great.

Reallocating what you spend them on will change your life.

XO ~Robyn

I work with women who want to learn how to create real + lasting health changes. We’ll use a sustainable, practice-based approach to build healthy habits into your life, one day at a time for an entire year.

As your coach, I’ll provide accountability + direction + support every step of the way. I’ll help you stay consistent, no matter what life throws at you.

If this approach resonates with you, CLICK HERE for details on how to work together.

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Disrupt Your Inner Critic

No one likes a bully.

Nevertheless, almost every woman has one thing in common. They are a bully to themselves.

Most of us aren’t even aware of our behavior. The cruel thoughts just stream through our minds…

  • You’re disgusting.
  • No one would ever find your body attractive.
  • You’d look better wearing a garbage bag.
  • Don’t even think about trying those on.

I recently stumbled upon this video. Two best friends wrote down the things they dislike about their own bodies – then proceeded to say these comments out loud, directed at one another.

Why do we say things to ourselves that we wouldn’t ever say to (or think about) our best friends or children or sisters?

When I work with my clients, we focus on one habit for two weeks. I invite you to do the same.

For the next two weeks, begin to notice the way you talk to yourself. When you’re standing in front of the mirror or in the shower or getting dressed – are you being kind or cruel?

Just notice.

And as you notice your thoughts, if anything hurtful or negative comes up, simply say to yourself, “I choose peace.”

This practice won’t instantly erase years of negative thought patterns, but it will begin to help you unwind this destructive behavior.

The first step toward silencing the bully is to become mindful of your self-talk.

You can start today.

Commit for two weeks.

Disrupt the bully in your head.

Choose peace.

*This is the first in a series of posts around making peace with your body. More to come.

XO ~Robyn

I work with women who want to learn how to create real + lasting health changes. We’ll use a sustainable, practice-based approach to build healthy habits into your life, one day at a time for an entire year.

As your coach, I’ll provide accountability + direction + support every step of the way. I’ll help you stay consistent, no matter what life throws at you.

If this approach resonates with you, CLICK HERE for details on how to work together.