Robyn Spurr

Personal Health and Weight Loss Coaching For Women

Coaching Tools

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How to Process Negative Emotion (without food)

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I think there’s a misconception out there that we’re supposed to feel happy all the time. 

Think happy thoughts. Stay positive. Turn that frown upside down.

There is room in this life for every emotion. It’s healthy and normal to experience negative feelings. Nevertheless, many of us go to great lengths in order to avoid anything that feels uncomfortable. 

We choose distraction via food over feeling – time and time again. We think feeling our negative emotions will be so unbearable that we’re willing to risk our health. Push it down. Cover it up. Resist. Distract. Pretend. Binge. Pass the wine. 

If you do nothing else but make the decision that you will be willing to feel your feelings instead of eat, you will lose weight.

Let that really sink in.

If you continue to eat, you will continue to bury your feelings and teach yourself that the way to cope with a negative feeling is to eat. 

Or – you can put out the welcome mat. Invite the feeling in. Offer it a chair and some tea. Get to know it better.

If you do this over and over – you WILL lose weight.

So why do we choose to eat instead of feel? 

Most of us believe that exploring our negative feelings will suck us into a big black hole of despair – and we’ll never get out.

Most of us believe that inviting the negative feelings in, means they will stay with us – forever. Like a perpetual and horrible houseguest.

Most of us believe that feeling the fear or shame or uncertainty, will inspire the most epic binge eating episode we’ve ever experienced. 

How do I know?

Because it’s what I thought, until I tried it. It’s what most of my clients think, until they try it – and get amazing results.

Negative emotions are going to happen. They’re part of the human experience.

Negative emotions aren’t the problem. The problem is our resistance to feeling them.

And the more we resist – the more we’ll eat. 

Click here to learn how to process your negative emotions. Seriously, if you’re trying to lose weight – you’ll want to check this out. There are no angry mobs or hungry crocodiles on the other end – just a bunch of awesome stuff to help you lose the weight for good.

XO ~Robyn 

Robyn Spurr is a Certified Health Coach, Weight Loss Coach, Personal Trainer and founder of Chickadee Weight Loss. 

She helps women learn to manage their emotions without food and reach their healthy, natural weight without all the diet craziness.

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Trying to Do It Perfectly (+ a peek at my food journals)

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When I introduce a new weight coaching tool to my clients, they sometimes feel compelled to do it perfectly – right away. And it usually always backfires.

Take the Hunger Scale for example (please click here if you missed last week’s post on this topic).

The purpose of the Hunger Scale is not to do it perfectly. In order to get really good at something, we have to be willing to be a beginner. For example – it’s just not possible to rock out a competition worthy tango after our first ballroom dance class, right?

When doing it perfectly is our main objective – it’s easy to become frustrated and give up. But when the goal is to learn – we simply cannot fail.

To recap, the purpose of using the Hunger Scale is to…

  • get acquainted with our natural hunger and fullness cues
  • recognize when (and why) we want to eat to satisfy emotional hunger
  • notice how our bodies feel when we eat smaller, more frequent meals throughout the day
  • notice how much food it takes for us to feel satisfied (3/4 full)
  • notice how we feel when we eat to satisfaction vs how we feel when we eat until stuffed
  • help us discover the way of eating that works best for our unique body

For the past few days, I’ve been keeping a food journal using the Hunger Scale. I like to revisit the tools I teach to my clients on occasion – and I’m ALWAYS amazed at how much I learn. Every.Single.Time.

There is no finish line when it comes to self awareness and development – and that’s a good thing.

Now listen up my sweet perfectionist Chickadees…

If you’ve been trying to do it perfectly or you’ve been waiting for the perfect moment to start, then pretty please (with a cherry on top) consider approaching this work with knowledge and awareness as the goal.

You can use the Hunger Scale without changing a single thing about the way you eat. Let me say that again – you can use the Hunger Scale without changing a single thing about the way you eat.

Just start applying the scale to your eating – and I promise you will learn SO MUCH about yourself and your relationship with food. This isn’t a diet. There is no right or wrong. No good or bad.

If you’re learning and becoming more aware, then you’re already doing it perfectly.

*****

Curious to see what a food journal using the Hunger Scale looks like? Then click here to view my actual food journals from this week (+ food pics and self coaching notes). 

Spoiler alert – there is not one single day where I eat from -2 to + 2 all day long – and that’s okay. In fact, it’s perfect!

XO Robyn

Robyn Spurr is a Certified Health Coach, Weight Loss Coach, Personal Trainer and founder of Chickadee Weight Loss. 

She helps women learn to manage their emotions without food and reach their healthy, natural weight without all the diet craziness.

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How to Stop a Craving

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When my clients ask me what to do when they have a craving I always tell them the same thing. Journal.

If we eat, we miss out on understanding why we want to distract ourselves with food.

That moment of stopping and deciding to write instead of eat requires an override of our deeply rooted patterns of behavior.

Given a choice, we will almost always choose our conditioned habits over what we know is best for us.

We tell ourselves that a few seconds of ice cream filled deliciousness is better than a delicious life.

  • But I want it
  • I deserve it
  • It’s so good
  • I had a bad day
  • It’s my favorite flavor
  • My husband is having some
  • Just a scoop
  • I can’t resist it

I still sit down with a notebook when I experience a craving. Each entry starts with the same sentence…

Why do I want to eat right now?

If you do this, you will finally begin to understand why you turn to food when you’re not hungry. 

You will no longer be able to pretend that your reason for wanting to check out with food is valid.

This process requires vulnerability and consciousness. It can be scary to face the truth about our overeating – to stop numbing our feelings with ice cream.

But the result of this work is worth it. You are worth it.

Robyn Spurr is a Certified Health Coach, Weight Loss Coach, Personal Trainer and founder of Chickadee Weight Loss. She helps women reach their healthy, natural weight and stay there without all the diet craziness.

If you’re interested in learning more about Weight Loss Coaching, sign up for a one hour Discovery Session. Click here for details.

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The Surprising Reason I Recommend a Food Plan

Most people blame lack of willpower for their unhealthy choices.

I disagree. Sort of.

When you make a decision, or resist a donut – you’re expending some of the mental currency you have available that day. Each small decision diminishes your daily energy stores.

Check this out…

Barack Obama and Mark Zuckerberg wear essentially the same thing to work every day. President Obama dresses in a blue or gray suit and Zuckerberg wears a gray T-shirt.

Why? They know they have a day full of decisions ahead of them and a limited amount of mental energy. They put decision making on autopilot where they can.

James Clear explains this phenomenon in his article, How Willpower Works: How to Avoid Bad Decisions…

“As it turns out, your willpower is like a muscle. And similar to the muscles in your body, willpower can get fatigued when you use it over and over again. Every time you make a decision, it’s like doing another rep in the gym. And similar to how your muscles get tired at the end of a workout, the strength of your willpower fades as you make more decisions.

Researchers often refer to this as decision fatigue.”

My primary goal for clients is undoubtedly permanent weight loss, but there’s another objective as well – less thinking + obsessing about food.

I’ve started asking clients to estimate how much time they spend each day thinking about food. The numbers are staggering.

  • I probably shouldn’t eat this.
  • Is this healthy.
  • Maybe just one cookie – okay two.
  • I can burn these extra calories off at the gym.
  • What should I have for lunch?

A simple food plan eradicates much of this mental chatter.

Bands create a set list before a show. Agendas are written for meetings. Homes are built using a blueprint.

So why not approach eating in the same way?

Food plans decrease the number of decisions you need to make – which in turn, reduces stress. And who doesn’t want to reduce stress?

Set aside a few minutes each evening to plan what you’ll eat the following day with as much detail as possible.

Here’s a sample…

Breakfast:Scrambled Eggs + Avocado + Slice Sprouted Grain Bread
Lunch:Thai Coconut Salad from Mod Market
Dinner:Leftover Chicken Soup
Snack: Plain Greek Yogurt with Blueberries + 2 Squares Dark Chocolate

Not only does a food plan reduce stress, it makes it harder to justify eating off plan unless you have a valid reason. Double win!

Skeptical? Try it for one week – and see what happens.

XO ~Robyn

Make 2017 the year you drop the weight struggle for good. I’ve got a couple of openings for new coaching clients starting in January. My program has been revamped + remixed for the new year – and I’ve never been more excited to share it.

For details about the my new program – The Liberation Lab, click HERE.

To schedule a complimentary Discovery Session, click HERE.

This work is about so much more than weight loss. It’s a way out of your day in + day out fixation with food and way toward a bigger + bolder + more fulfilling life.