Have you seen Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory? It happens to be one of my all-time favorite movies. My childhood best friend Jaimee and I know every line + every song. Do you remember the awful Veruca Salt? Guess what? She’s the embodiment of our default brain setting. Yep. We evolved as a species to seek immediate gratification. Just like Veruca. Our brain isn't wired to give a hoot about our long-term health. It only cares that we survive long enough to get our DNA into the next generation (and get a Golden Goose). The journalist (and meditation student) Dan Harris summed this concept up beautifully in a recent episode of his 10% Happier podcast… “We are not naturally inclined to do things like exercise … [Read more...] about What’s the Rush?
Coaching Tools
Disarming Discomfort
Let’s say you’re walking past a house on fire. Do you run inside, on the off chance that someone might be in there? Probably not. You know you’ll get burned. Instead, you call the fire department. But let’s say you arrive at the house and realize your baby is inside. You race inside the house, forgetting about your own discomfort, desperately searching for your child. When you find your baby, grab her, and bring her outside, you’re probably suffering burns and smoke inhalation. Do you care much? Not in that moment. You might not even feel the pain at all, your adrenaline is so high. All you care about is your child. Notice how you’re willing to tolerate discomfort in the service of a higher purpose - saving … [Read more...] about Disarming Discomfort
Is This Useful?
The human mind is uniquely brilliant. Our remarkable cognitive capacity has allowed us to develop cures for deadly diseases like smallpox and tuberculosis, build skyscrapers and land on the moon. But we humans have a tendency to misuse this wondrous capability. We imagine horrible outcomes that are unlikely to play out. We lie in bed at night and fixate on our to-do list or the stupid comment we made or the email we forgot to send. We overthink, we ruminate, we obsess, we worry. In short, we create a whole bunch of unnecessary suffering. Getting in the habit of asking a simple question, “Is this useful?” can help curb these behaviors. Whether we’re worried about the wording of an email or over-thinking the consequences of … [Read more...] about Is This Useful?
Let Peace Bloom (Ending the Toxic Practice of Judgment)
In my previous post, I offered up a simple tool to disrupt your inner bully. If you haven’t tried it yet, I highly recommend you do. It’s the easiest way I’ve found to diminish self-shaming. Unwinding years (and often decades) of bullying yourself may seem hard, but not changing a behavior that affects you in negative ways is hard too. Making a deliberate choice to end the war with my body was one of the best gifts I ever gave to myself. When you judge yourself or someone else, you’re not helping yourself or them in any beneficial way. I grew up in a household where we spent a lot of time picking other people apart. The tradition continues to this day… He walked around with his shirt off. I shouldn’t have to look at that!Did … [Read more...] about Let Peace Bloom (Ending the Toxic Practice of Judgment)