Robyn Spurr

Personal Health and Weight Loss Coaching For Women

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Meet Yourself Where You Are

Tom Petty’s Wildflowers has been my favorite song for much of my adult life.

You belong among the wildflowers

You belong in a boat out at sea

You belong with your love on your arm

You belong somewhere you feel free.

Nature is my happy place. I can breathe. Unwind. Create. Feel at peace in mind and body.

Route 3 loomed above my childhood home. A major highway in New Jersey that will lead you to the Lincoln Tunnel – and ultimately, New York City.

The weed infested hillside next to the Route 3 offramp was my sacred space as a child. A place to collect ladybugs. To pretend I was on safari. To find stillness.

When my then boyfriend, now husband, asked me to move to Colorado in 1998, I didn’t hesitate for a second.

Three weeks ago, almost 25 years after moving to Colorado – my husband and I planted ourselves in the quirky little mountain town of Salida, Colorado.

I am surrounded by wildflowers and antelope and mountains and sky.

What is the point of all of this?

Behavior change is a result of habits, mindset, and environment.

Environment: the surroundings or conditions in which a person, animal, or plant lives or operates.

Our environment is more than where we live. Everything you see, hear, smell, taste, and touch is part of your environment. 

Our environment matters – and our environment changes frequently.

Last year at this time, I was getting ready to fly to New Jersey to take care of my sweet Mama for two weeks. It was my fourth trip of the year. My environment was drastically different than it is today – and so were my expectations of myself.

I see my clients frequently falling into the trap of attaching to a time in their life when they were crushing it.

Why can’t I eat the way I did then?

Why can’t I exercise the way I did then?

Why don’t I feel as motivated?

Why does it feel so hard?

I can pretty much guarantee this line of questioning will lead to giving up. Every single time.

Behavior change is fluid. Dynamic. Stop comparing yourself to that time when life was easier and breezier.

One of my clients recently suffered a concussion after being rear ended by a semi. She was feeling disappointed in herself for not being where she was pre-accident.

Here’s what I told her…

Let go of pre-accident you. Be right here in this moment. You know what you’re capable of when everything is going great. Except life doesn’t always let us hang out in that space for long. Let’s make the most of where you are now. It’ll look different than before the accident. And that is OKAY.

I asked her to begin texting me with every win. Nothing was too small to celebrate. We shifted her habits to be more in line with what was possible as she continued to recover. We celebrated the fact that she only gained 2 pounds when it could have been more.

When my sweet Mama passed last August, I had gained a total of 6 pounds since her cancer diagnosis – and I considered that to be a monumental victory. There was no shame. No harsh judgement. Just compassion for myself and what I had been through. The weight is gone now and I am certain I would have gained more + had a more difficult time losing it if I was beating myself up the whole time the scale was going up.

Be gentle with yourself + meet yourself where you are, Chickadee.

💙 Robyn

Interested in a one-on-one coaching relationship with me? It would be an honor to work with you if and when the time feels right.

To learn more about Personal Health Coaching click HERE. 

To schedule a Discovery Session click HERE.

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Messing Up is Part of the Process

About 10 years ago, I enrolled in a Weight Loss Coaching Certification program. I was already certified as a Health Coach with ACE, but that program didn’t teach about the mindset of weight loss. The new program was ALL about mindset.

During my certification, I was asked to assess any overeating I did. What did I overeat? What were my sabotaging thoughts?

But, I DID NOT DO IT.

Why?

Because I was beating myself up for not being perfect instead. I was too busy swimming in shame + comparison + judgement.

  • How can a Health Coach possibly make mistakes?
  • I’m supposed to be the example.
  • Who would hire a coach that overate sometimes (or GASP, gained weight)?

I tried SO HARD to do it all perfectly so I wouldn’t have to feel the shame of overeating and the shame of trying to hide it. As you might suspect, that approach didn’t work very well.

Perfectionism is often a symptom of low self-worth. And our self-worth has nothing to do with what we weigh or what we’ve accomplished in life. Low self-worth comes from a story we’re telling and believing.

I believed my own bullshit story about not being enough for a LONG time. Much too long.

Not every woman who struggles with food is a perfectionist, but so many are. The best way I have found to rewrite the perfectionist script is to do the work. I ask my clients to show up no matter how sideways things go.

To post what they’re eating in Ate.

To assess how their day went.

To get on the scale.

I do the same and freely share this information with my clients. Especially when I make mistakes.

If my clients feel compelled to hide, I ask them to simply notice why. Without judgement. With curiosity. Just notice. You can do the same.

What are you thinking that is causing you to not want to post the cookies in your food journal?

What are you thinking that is keeping you from getting on the scale?

What gets uncovered are the bullshit lies we’re telling ourselves that are causing us to feel not good enough.

Once the thoughts are out of your head and on paper, read it back and ask, what could I say that might be more helpful?

A few suggestions…

  • I’m willing to believe that messing up is not a tragedy
  • I might be wrong about not having what it takes to change my behavior
  • I am becoming a person who believes in herself
  • I am someone who is willing to learn from my mistakes
  • I don’t have to believe everything I think about myself
  • I will figure this out as long as I keep moving forward
  • I can choose to keep going
  • I am a person who doesn’t give up on her weight loss goals

The #1 reason we quit on losing weight is not because we ate too much cake or gained 2 pounds. The #1 reason we quit is because we beat ourselves up when we make mistakes and that feels like crap.

Quitting on weight loss means we no longer have to endure the floggings. Quitting offers instant relief. Until — we start right back up with the mental floggings for failing again + being overweight. On to the next diet!

Let’s END THIS CYCLE. 

We WILL make mistakes when we’re losing weight. Messing up is PART OF THE PROCESS. The key to success is learning to process mistakes without judgement.

If you’re not practicing normalizing mistakes, you’re going to keep quitting on weight loss.

Mistakes are not keeping you from losing weight. Mistakes are TELLING you what you need to change to lose weight. When the low fuel indicator light comes on, you problem solve, right? You find a gas station + put gas in your tank + keep going. You don’t beat yourself up about it + ditch the car on the side of the road.

A mistake is simply an action or decision that produces a result you don’t want. It’s not a statement about your ability to lose weight.

Stop believing the pile of lies you’re currently telling yourself about why you can’t lose weight.

You can think (and believe) something new.

💙 Robyn

Interested in a one-on-one coaching relationship with me? It would be an honor to work with you if and when the time feels right.

To learn more about Personal Health Coaching click HERE. 

To schedule a Discovery Session click HERE.

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The Case for Not Giving Up

Ten years ago, I had a vision. To build a business dedicated to helping women create healthier bodies and more fulfilling lives.

Today, that business is thriving. The pieces have come together. My clients are brave + badass women I truly adore. The work is challenging (in the best way possible) and deeply fulfilling.

But it’s been a JOURNEY.

There were hundreds of times I thought about quitting – and two times when I came SUPER close.

Job offers were on the table.

Self-doubt. Fear. Uncertainty. I’m not good enough. Who am I to do this work? 

Here’s what I want you to know…

Setbacks + obstacles + wanting to quit are all necessary components of change, progress and success.

We often imagine change or “progress” as a linear graph. In reality, change and progress look more like this:

Progress stalls + dips + goes backward along the way.

There are a number of perfectly good reasons for this:

  • Maybe we need downtime — to think, reflect, regroup, reboot, or incubate something new.
  • Maybe we need to regress briefly — to dip into our old selves or old habits and remember why we are building new ones, like visiting an ex to remember why you left them.
  • Maybe we need to repeat something— to practice, drill, and/or test our skills under different conditions.

Or maybe it’s that we simply don’t have the skills yet to reach the next level of our progression and, like everything else in life, we need to accept that doing things badly is a necessary precursor to doing them well.

The only way to fail is to give up.

Quitting is something too many of us are good at. And there’s a reason for it.

When we’re struggling to achieve a goal and quit, we get immediate relief. The pressure is off. But eventually, we feel terrible about quitting.

My clients often hear me say, I’ll never give up on you.

When I speak those words, I mean them with my entire being. Because achieving a BIG goal requires overcoming BIG obstacles – and time. As much time as it takes. Your dream has no expiration date.

The journey of my business from initial vision to thriving coaching practice has been a wild ride rife with challenges. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Overcoming challenges builds up our resilience and self-respect.

When it comes to losing weight (or building a business or any goal you want to achieve), ask yourself this question…

Am I willing to commit to achieving this goal no matter what?

If the answer is yes, do yourself a favor and keep going. For as long as it takes.

XO ~Robyn

Interested in a one-on-one coaching relationship with me? It would be an honor to work with you if and when the time feels right.

To learn more about one-on-one Health Coaching click HERE. 

To schedule a Discovery Session click HERE.

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Upgrade Your Belief System

Here’s what I want you to know. You can lose the weight – and keep it off.

It’s true.

100%

Believe me?

Probably not.

I get it.

But hear me out.

If you don’t think you can, you won’t.

Take a minute to consider your beliefs about your ability to lose weight and keep it off. What are your beliefs about food? About exercise? About who you are?

Many of my new clients often share a belief system that sounds something like…

I’ve never succeeded at keeping the weight off. I do great for a few weeks or months and then I inevitably cave in. All of that delicious food is just too tempting. Especially when I have a bad day or my kids are making me crazy or something throws me off track, like a holiday or party. I just don’t have enough willpower, time or energy. I’ve always had a weight problem. I’ve always loved delicious food. I’ve always had a shit metabolism. That’s just who I am.

Most of us do not like to prove ourselves wrong. It feels downright awful.

Proving ourselves RIGHT makes us feel smart and confident. Even if proving ourselves right is keeping us from achieving what we want in life.

Have you ever heard of a concept called confirmation bias?

Confirmation bias is the tendency to search for, interpret, favor, and recall information in a way that confirms one’s preexisting beliefs or hypotheses.

We search for evidence in the world that supports the beliefs we already have.

If our belief is, “that guy is a terrible human being,” we’ll search for evidence to support it + ignore anything to the contrary. We do this ALL THE TIME.

My job as a coach is to help my clients see how their current belief system might be holding them back. We’re often completely unaware of our own programming. We don’t know that it’s optional. That we can change it. That we can shift our identity.

In fact, losing weight and keeping it off REQUIRES that you shift your identity.

One of my heroes, Warren Buffett, sums this up beautifully. He says…

What human beings are best at doing is interpreting all new information so that their prior conclusions remain intact.

Let me share a personal story.

When I turned 40, I believed I would gain weight.

All women gain weight in their 40’s. Belly fat is inevitable. I’m screwed.

And you know what? I gained a few pounds.

Until I WOKE UP and recognized I was a prisoner of my belief system.

Lo and behold, you can actually LOSE weight in your 40’s.

Even a coach can get duped by a faulty belief system.

Changing our belief system is the exact opposite of what our brain would like to do. Our brain would like to continue to confirm and be right about what we already believe. It doesn’t care if your belief system isn’t serving you.

Think about it.

Are you willing to be wrong about yourself?

Good. Keep reading.

So how do you go about upgrading your current belief system?

Step One: Become aware of your belief system

Step Two: Begin forming a new belief system

Step Three: Search for the evidence to support the new belief system

You might be tempted to jump from your current belief system straight to sunshine and unicorns.

I hate my body to I love my body

It’s not authentic. It won’t work.

Instead, bridge the gap. Evolve your belief system.

Here’s an example of belief evolution over time.

  • I can’t lose weight. 
  • I have a belief that I can’t lose weight. (awareness)
  • I get to choose what I put in my mouth. I’m in control of what I decide to eat.
  • There have been times I’ve been successful at losing weight and eating healthy.
  • I enjoy lots of whole foods. Roasted veggies, salmon, eggs, berries, to name a few.
  • I haven’t figured it out yet, and that’s okay. I’m working on it.
  • I might be wrong about not being able to change my behavior.
  • I’m open to the possibility that I can change my behavior.
  • I’m going to figure this out.
  • I can do this!

If you’re feeling stuck, it’s normal. You’ve been practicing the same beliefs for years and often decades (or a lifetime!). Try this. Consider the actions that will get you the result you want.

In other words, what do you need to do to get your destination? Coming up with a list of actions is often easier than creating new thoughts. Once you have a list of actions, turn them into believable thoughts.

Here’s an example.

Desired Actions:

  • Snack less
  • Eat fewer carbs
  • Eat more veggies
  • Walk every day
  • Plan + prep meals (eat at home more often)

New Beliefs:

  • I will not die if I don’t eat a snack while watching TV (even though my brain will try to convince me otherwise).
  • I can drink tea if I’m having a craving.
  • I’ve eaten fewer carbs in the past and it’s been okay.
  • I no longer eat carbs with my breakfast and I’ve gotten used to it.
  • I love roasted veggies!
  • I enjoy walking when I can listen to podcasts.
  • Planning and prepping ahead of time makes eating healthy so much easier during the week.
  • Not eating out all the time saves me money and saving money is important to me.

We must build a new belief system in order to create a new future. Our autopilot programming won’t get us there.

XO ~Robyn

Interested in a one-on-one coaching relationship with me? It would be an honor to work with you if and when the time feels right.

To learn more about one-on-one Health Coaching click HERE. 

To schedule a Discovery Session click HERE.