Tom Petty’s Wildflowers has been my favorite song for much of my adult life.
You belong among the wildflowers
You belong in a boat out at sea
You belong with your love on your arm
You belong somewhere you feel free.
Nature is my happy place. I can breathe. Unwind. Create. Feel at peace in mind and body.
Route 3 loomed above my childhood home. A major highway in New Jersey that will lead you to the Lincoln Tunnel – and ultimately, New York City.
The weed infested hillside next to the Route 3 offramp was my sacred space as a child. A place to collect ladybugs. To pretend I was on safari. To find stillness.
When my then boyfriend, now husband, asked me to move to Colorado in 1998, I didn’t hesitate for a second.
Three weeks ago, almost 25 years after moving to Colorado – my husband and I planted ourselves in the quirky little mountain town of Salida, Colorado.
I am surrounded by wildflowers and antelope and mountains and sky.
What is the point of all of this?
Behavior change is a result of habits, mindset, and environment.
Environment: the surroundings or conditions in which a person, animal, or plant lives or operates.
Our environment is more than where we live. Everything you see, hear, smell, taste, and touch is part of your environment.
Our environment matters – and our environment changes frequently.
Last year at this time, I was getting ready to fly to New Jersey to take care of my sweet Mama for two weeks. It was my fourth trip of the year. My environment was drastically different than it is today – and so were my expectations of myself.
I see my clients frequently falling into the trap of attaching to a time in their life when they were crushing it.
Why can’t I eat the way I did then?
Why can’t I exercise the way I did then?
Why don’t I feel as motivated?
Why does it feel so hard?
I can pretty much guarantee this line of questioning will lead to giving up. Every single time.
Behavior change is fluid. Dynamic. Stop comparing yourself to that time when life was easier and breezier.
One of my clients recently suffered a concussion after being rear ended by a semi. She was feeling disappointed in herself for not being where she was pre-accident.
Here’s what I told her…
Let go of pre-accident you. Be right here in this moment. You know what you’re capable of when everything is going great. Except life doesn’t always let us hang out in that space for long. Let’s make the most of where you are now. It’ll look different than before the accident. And that is OKAY.
I asked her to begin texting me with every win. Nothing was too small to celebrate. We shifted her habits to be more in line with what was possible as she continued to recover. We celebrated the fact that she only gained 2 pounds when it could have been more.
When my sweet Mama passed last August, I had gained a total of 6 pounds since her cancer diagnosis – and I considered that to be a monumental victory. There was no shame. No harsh judgement. Just compassion for myself and what I had been through. The weight is gone now and I am certain I would have gained more + had a more difficult time losing it if I was beating myself up the whole time the scale was going up.
Be gentle with yourself + meet yourself where you are, Chickadee.
💙 Robyn
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