Robyn Spurr

Personal Health and Weight Loss Coaching For Women

Self Care

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What You Truly Deserve

deserve
We often say…
  • I worked so hard today – I deserve a cupcake.
  • I made it through the week – I deserve pizza.
  • My son (or co-worker or husband) is acting like a jerk – I deserve these cookies.
But what we’re really saying is…
  • I deserve to stay stuck in an overweight body.
  • I deserve to feel overstuffed + guilty.
  • I deserve to reward myself with something that is taking me farther away from my goals.
Here’s what you really deserve…
  • Beautiful + healthy + delicious food that nourishes your body.
  • Surrounding yourself with people who lift you up.
  • Taking a leisurely walk – no noise, no podcasts – just let your mind wander.
  • Listening to music that inspires + moves you.
  • Making the time to do exactly what you want (read a book, take a bath, sit in the sun).
  • Getting rid of the clutter that’s weighing you down.
  • Getting a good night’s sleep.
  • Burning a beautifully scented candle.
  • Savoring a decadent piece of chocolate or a gorgeous glass of wine.
  • Hiring a babysitter and going out on a date night.
  • Indulging in a hobby you love.

The next time you hear yourself say, “I deserve this,” ask yourself…

“Does this feel like love?”

And if the answer is yes, by all means – indulge and enjoy. You deserve it.

XO ~Robyn

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Practicing Self-Compassion

self-compassion

“Lack of forgiveness causes almost all of our self-sabotaging behavior.” ~Mark Victor Hansen

Everyone struggles with self-criticism. EVERYONE. Isn’t that a relief?

  • I’m a failure.
  • I’m a bad person.
  • I’m so messed up.
  • I’m a bitch.
  • I can’t get it together.
  • I’m too sensitive.
  • I screwed up – BIG time.
  • Something is wrong with me.

The human experience is difficult for everyone. Life isn’t meant to be goldendoodle puppies and fairy dust 100% of the time. But when things go wrong in our own lives, we tend to slip into isolation. We tend to falsely believe we’re alone in our suffering.

Self-criticism feels crappy – but there is nothing more painful than feeling cut off and isolated.

  • Everyone else is living a normal happy life.
  • Everyone else has it figured out but me.
  • Other people don’t beat themselves up like I do.

Instead of trying to STOP self-criticism altogether (which is impossible), begin to practice self-compassionate thoughts…

  • The human experience is hard for everyone.
  • This is a moment of suffering. Suffering is part of life.
  • The human experience is imperfect.
  • This will get easier in time.
  • It’s not just me – everyone struggles.
  • Everyone says unkind things to themselves from time to time.
  • Life goes wrong sometimes.
  • I love you anyway.

One of the biggest obstacles to practicing self-compassion is the belief that beating ourselves up is motivating. The research points to the opposite.

Self-criticism almost always leads to feeling discouraged – and discouragement is NOT a motivating state of being.

Self-compassion on the other hand, is linked to increased well-being. Rather than encouraging self-indulgence, research supports the idea that self-compassion enhances motivation.

In other words, self-compassion will NOT lead to sitting on the couch all day consuming pint after pint of Rocky Road ice cream.

If beating yourself up isn’t working for you (and I can pretty much guarantee it’s not), why not give self-compassion a whirl?

XO ~Robyn

Robyn Spurr is a Once Obese Chick, Eating Disorder Survivor, Certified Weight Loss Coach, Personal Trainer and founder of Chickadee Weight Loss. 

She helps women learn to manage their emotions without food and reach their healthy, natural weight without all the diet craziness.

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Why Can’t I Say No?

no

“A NO uttered from the deepest conviction is better than a YES merely uttered to please, or worse, to avoid trouble.” ~Mahatma Gandhi

Even though I’ve lived in Colorado since 1998, I’m still a Jersey Girl at heart. So I’m gonna give it to you straight.

The reason you keep saying yes, when you really want to say no is because you want other people to like and approve of you.

And the reason you want their approval is because you’re not practicing approval of yourself.

No matter how much outside approval you get, you’ll never be satisfied. I promise.

Only you can make you happy.

You can decide, right now – to stop waiting for other people to give you the love and affection you should be giving to yourself.

Try this. Write down five things you like about yourself. Don’t stop until you have at least five.

Good.

The next time you catch yourself being a bully – look at your “things I like about me” list. Continue to add to it over time.

What you choose to tell yourself is up to you. Practice thoughts that produce the feelings you desire. In other words…

​Think deliberately.

Truth is, some people aren’t going to like you, no matter what you do – that’s a fact – and it’s okay. Not everyone likes strawberry ice cream. But we don’t blame strawberry ice cream, right? There’s nothing WRONG with strawberry ice cream. It’s just not everyone’s favorite flavor.

So what – some people like chocolate chip and you’re strawberry. That doesn’t mean you try to become chocolate chip just to please them. Why not commit to being the most amazing strawberry ice cream you can be?

Whether someone likes you or not has nothing to do with you. It’s out of your control. 

Imagine if you decided – this very minute – to show up in the world as your authentic self. As a person who says no when they really want to say no. You would attract people who like you for you – not the people pleasing version of you.

If you continue to do stuff just to get approval from others, you’re going to continue to do a whole bunch of stuff you don’t really want to do. Which leads to resentment + anger.

: Bake 48 cupcakes for the PTA fundraiser
: Eat 3 different desserts to please Aunt Edith
: Drive your neighbor to the airport at 4:45 am
: Join ANOTHER committee

Saying no when you really want to say no is an act of self-love.

And you are worthy of your own love and affection.

Need help saying no (with grace and kindness)? Check out this post by the fabulous Alex Franzen – “5 Steps to Scripting a Perfect No.”

XO ~Robyn

If you’re ready to say YES to a healthier + happier you, then let’s chat. I’ll be taking on a few new private weight loss coaching clients in January.

Learn more by signing up for a Discovery Session. Discovery Sessions are FREE – no strings. If you’ve been on the fence – now’s the time Chickadee!

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Are You Treating the Symptoms?

areyoutreatingthesymptoms

The discomfort of being stuck on the diet – gain it back – diet – gain it back roller coaster is often easier to deal with than the reasons behind our overeating.

  • Our inability to say no.
  • The secret we’re hiding.
  • The job we hate.
  • The fear of getting to know ourselves.
  • The unresolved anger and resentment.

The only way to solve our weight problem for good is to address the reasons we’re turning to food. There is no other way. Your weight is a symptom of a deeper issue. Counting calories is symptom work. It’s a distraction – and quite frankly, a waste of time. Weight coaching is about problem solving.

Is it easy – no. Is it the most amazing work you will ever do – absofreakinglutely!

If you’re serious about losing weight and keeping it off, it’s time to stop asking the same old familiar questions…

  • Why can’t I lose weight?
  • Why don’t diets work for me?

The questions you really need to ask require you to dig deeper…

  • Why am I turning to food when I’m not hungry?
  • What is bothering me besides my weight?
  • How do I manage stress?
  • Why do I always say yes, when I really want to say no?
  • What brings me joy – other than food?
  • Am I willing to forgive myself? Why or why not?
  • Why am I afraid to ask for what I want?
  • What am I avoiding by turning to food?

If you’re ready to stop dieting and start digging in, let’s chat. Discovery Sessions are free – no strings.

Because it’s time to end the struggle for good.

xo ~Robyn

Robyn Spurr is a Certified Health Coach, Weight Loss Coach, Personal Trainer and founder of Chickadee Weight Loss. She helps women reach their healthy, natural weight and stay there without all the diet craziness.