Robyn Spurr

Personal Health and Weight Loss Coaching For Women

Self Care

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What Your Compulsion is Trying to Teach You

 

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Imagine your most recent episode of overeating. What words might you choose to describe your actions? Here are a few common responses I hear.

  • Bad
  • Disgusting
  • Out of Control
  • Weak
  • Powerless
  • Broken
  • Hopeless

I’m going to ask you to reconsider and try on the following words instead.

  • Connection
  • Powerful
  • Survival

We ordinarily think of compulsive eating as a “bad” thing – something we ought to be ashamed of.

In reality, our compulsions around eating serve two very powerful purposes: to numb out undesirable feelings and to bring us comfort. As children, we’re not always capable of handling the intensity of the feelings we’re presented with. Feelings like fear, abandon, grief, panic or inadequacy.

We learn early on that eating all the cookies can temporarily distract us from these feelings. We discover a way to cope – and then we practice this method of coping over and over.

Instead of beating yourself up over your compulsion, recognize that your eating is likely a survival system you created to help manage all the overwhelming experiences of your life. Your compulsion around food is not evidence that you are weak. It’s evidence that you found a way to endure when your options were limited.

Using food to manage our emotions – to numb and comfort was once necessary. But as adults, we must learn new ways to take care our ourselves. The repercussions of using food are too high.

We can choose to manage our emotional lives without turning to food. We can stop “shutting ourselves up” with food. We can begin to experience, reconnect and give ourselves the attention we deserve. We can learn from our emotions instead of covering them up with ice cream.

By tuning in instead of numbing out, you will finally learn to be fully awake in your body and compassionate with yourself. And you’ll begin to replace your old method of taking care of yourself with a new system – one that will lead to a healthy body inside and out.

Robyn Spurr is a Certified Health Coach, Weight Loss Coach, Personal Trainer and founder of Chickadee Weight Loss. She helps women reach their healthy, natural weight and stay there without all the diet craziness.

For more information on Weight Loss Coaching, click here.

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4 Questions to Ask Before Quitting

 

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Last night I thought about quitting.

Quitting my business.

Quitting healthy eating.

Quitting my strength training program.

I had a total crazy town moment.

Truth is – I think about quitting all the time. It’s tempting to quit. Quitting is easy. It gives us immediate relief from our challenge.

But when we quit, we forgo feelings of accomplishment and pride.

Of knowing we’re capable of pushing through when things get tough.

Of realizing our dreams.

That said, quitting isn’t always a bad thing. Sometimes it’s just what we need to do. But it’s important to take the time to sort it out. Really important.

I knew I didn’t want to quit all of those things. I knew my feelings of frustration were an opportunity in disguise. An opportunity to get to know myself better.

So that’s what I did this morning. I scheduled a big old meeting with myself.

And since you’re reading this blog post, it’s safe to say I didn’t quit my business or healthy eating or exercise.

As always, my clients amazed, inspired and challenged me in the best ways possible today. They reminded me of why I do this work and why I started this business. I ate beautiful, nutritious and delicious food and worked out with gusto and a renewed sense of purpose.

What to Do When You Want to Quit

Ask yourself the following questions.

  1. Am I feeling overly emotional? If so, do not make a decision or answer questions 2-4 until you’re feeling less charged.
  2. Why do I want to quit? Do I like this reason?
  3. Will quitting help me get more or less of what I want?
  4.  If I quit, how will I feel about it in one month? One year?

I’ve quit things that felt good (skiing, the corporate world) and I’ve quit things that felt bad (a writing course, a networking group) – there is a monumental difference.

Don’t judge yourself for wanting to quit. Wanting to quit means you’re doing something outside of your comfort zone. It’s supposed to feel – uncomfortable.

When that discomfort isn’t moving you closer to what you want, then it’s time to reflect and consider your options.

Never quit impulsively. Quit deliberately.

Robyn Spurr is a Certified Health Coach, Weight Loss Coach, Personal Trainer and founder of Chickadee Weight Loss. She helps women reach their healthy, natural weight and stay there without all the diet craziness.

For more information on Weight Loss Coaching, click here.

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An Easy Tool For Managing Your Time

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My dear friend Cindy told me about a workshop she was planning to attend this past weekend and asked me to consider joining her. According the description online, we’d be, “clarifying and deepening our relationship with nature, learning about the soul of the indigenous being, exploring ancient Lakota Indian traditions and enhancing our sacred relationship of inner peace.”

I must admit, it sounded a little “out there” to me – but since I’m an inherently curious gal who loves learning new things and playing in nature, I signed myself up.

And then I nearly bailed, because I was completely exhausted by the end of the week.

I hemmed and hawed over attending, but something within me told me to go – and I’m glad I listened, because the experience provided a perfect opportunity to contemplate how and why I let myself get so busy and exhausted.

Busy creeps up on you, like a mountain lion – and when you least except it, it pounces! Busy is the result of saying yes over and over, when you really want to say no. Busy leads to stress – and for me, too much stress leads to grouchiness and a desire to eat chocolate – lots of chocolate.

During class on Saturday, we were asked to gather our journals and a pen and locate a place in the woods where we would sit for one hour in quiet contemplation – and although this may seem downright kooky to you, I cannot begin to tell you how powerful this experience was.

While sitting there on the pine needles with my back against a beautiful lichen covered rock, I came up with a new “rule” – the hell yeah! rule – and it goes like this.

If I’m asked to do something and I don’t feel all hell yeah! about it, I’m going to give myself the gift of time to consider the request before I say yes. And if it’s still not a hell yeah!, then I’ll likely say no.

Just yesterday, I found this amazing post by Alexandra Franzen on saying no with grace. Brilliant. And this one has been bookmarked on my computer for ages.

In retrospect there were signs that I was taking on too much. When someone would ask how I was doing recently, my response transformed from my usual, fantastic and you? to whoa, super busy, I’ve got so much going on right now.

I’ve seen this over and over – and it’s not just business owners. Busyness is rampant everywhere – from teens to moms to retirees. So many of us pride ourselves on it – frantically tapping away on our iPhones, running, juggling, striving, zigging, zagging, going, going, going. We wear busy like a badge of honor. A badge that proves our superwomen status.

I used to admire these busy women. When I first started my business, I aspired to be like them – the business owner who had to scour her calendar to find the space to squeeze in one more thing that week.

When I descended from the forest and returned back home, I took the time to revisit the reasons I left the corporate world to launch my own business. Yes, I wanted to do work that truly inspired me, but I also wanted to be less busy – to free up significant chunks of time for playing, reading, hiking, exploring, creating, traveling and goofing off.

I craved more freedom, more space on my calendar – the space to do work I love and live a life that I love. The free space is what allows me to do my job well. To be fully present for my clients.

There’s a bit more space on my calendar this week – and I have no desire to fill it, unless it’s an appointment or opportunity that makes me shout hell yeah! 

Sweet freedom.

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The Truth About Why I Exercise

 

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I don’t exercise to rock a bikini, finish a marathon or set new personal records.

I flat out hated exercise for a good portion of my life. I used to forge notes from my Mom about “painful menstrual cramps” to avoid Phys Ed in High School. I even elected to take Organic Chemistry my senior year because it got me out of gym class three days a week (also, I’m a geek who loves science, but getting out of Phys Ed was a nice perk).

But things have changed since then.

During a visit with my foot surgeon (the fabulous Dr. Ng) a few weeks ago, he suggested biking as a way to get in some great cardio without irritating my foot (I’m trying desperately to avoid surgery #3). So I took up biking – and it’s crazy fun. Biking doesn’t feel like “work” or something I have to do. I sincerely look forward to hopping on my bike and riding the gorgeous trails near my house as the bright Colorado sun shines down (Vitamin D baby).

What I absolutely LOVE about exercise is not how it can make me look, but how it makes me feel.

Happy.

Calm.

Balanced.

Connected.

Focused.

And that’s why I do it. Not to lose weight or bench press my body weight. I exercise because it helps me feel at peace with my mind and body.

I don’t look like a fitness competitor because I don’t train or live like one. I simply don’t have the desire to commit to that level of intense training or rigorous dieting. What I DO look like is a perfectly healthy almost 40 year old female.

When folks ask me what they should do when it comes to exercise, my first question is always – what do you like to do? My second question is usually – what is your goal?

The alternative to not exercising for me is off the charts anxiety and a prescription for Prozac or something like it. And I don’t want to take those drugs, because I like to feel my feelings. I like to be able to laugh until my stomach hurts and cry when I’m sad. And I like not having chronic diarrhea. Too much information? It’s the truth. The side effects can be gnarly.

Unless you have a serious fitness goal, like running a marathon or competing in a figure competition, simply moving your body in a way that feels good to you is perfect. And it’s likely your mood will lift as well – even if you don’t suffer from anxiety or depression.

Exercise doesn’t have to be an all-or-nothing endeavor. Doing what you like to do when you feel like doing it is a lovely way to approach fitness – especially if you’re just starting out. It sure beats sitting on the couch all day or diving in so fast and furiously that you wind up sitting on the couch all day – injured.

When it comes to exercise (or pretty much anything in life), I tend to follow my favorite piece of advice – do what works best for you.

Robyn Spurr is a Certified Health Coach, Weight Loss Coach, Personal Trainer and founder of Chickadee Weight Loss. She helps women reach their healthy, natural weight and stay there without all the diet craziness.

For more information on Weight Loss Coaching, click here.